开玩笑吧 Are you kidding me?
哦，乔希，抱歉我来晚了 Oh, Josh! Sorry I'm late.
没关系 That's all right.
办公室圣诞早餐 Office holiday breakfast.
你们早上10点半就开派对 You guys have parties at 10:30 in the morning?
这样不但责任 Less liability.
显然，大家不要在中午前喝醉 Apparently, people don't get drunk before noon.
恩 都是胡说的 - Mmm. - It's boring as shit.
但是合伙人要求我们在这，所以 But the partners want us there, so...
没问题 Sure.
总之，经过一年的谈判，你的离婚官司总算结束了 Anyways, after a year of negotiation,your divorce is finalised.
这是确认过的条款 These are the terms we agreed to.
很抱歉，你要付赡养费，房产 The alimony, the house. Sorry.
不用担心，不就是钱嘛 Don't worry about it.It's only money.
全都是为了钱 It is only all of the money.
就当我是圣诞节大酬宾了 But it's the season for giving, right?
我明白你的感受 I know how you feel.
是吗 我不知道你也离婚了 Oh, yeah? I didn't know you were divorced.
我可没有，那对我是可是毁灭性的 Oh, God, no.That'd be crushing.
恩，但是我懂的 - Hmm. - But I get it.
这就像是 On one level, it must seem like, uh,
我放弃了我人生中最大的一部分 的"I'm signing away a huge chunk of my life
永远也无法回头了 "that I'm never getting back."
恩 Mmm-hmm.
就这样 没有其它的 That's it? No other level?
没了 在这里签字 - No, that's it. Uh, initials. - Oh.
嗨，还有更美好的事情在等着你那 Hey. There are good things ahead for you, okay?
是的，拥抱下 - Yeah. Oh. - Come here.
谢谢你 伙计 圣诞快乐 - Thank you. Thanks, buddy. - Merry Christmas.
这是什么 最后的账单费用 - Hey, what's this? - My final bill's in there.
是吗 还有一个圣诞卡 - Is it? - Oh, also my holiday card.
我妻子让我和孩子们一起拍的换装照片 The wife had me and the kids dress up
搞得像是单向乐队成员，很有趣 Iike members of One Direction. Pretty fun.
效果不错 Mmm. Dynamite.
妈都办好了，离了 Yes, Mum, it is all done. I am divorced.
你应该告诉爸爸 Well, you should tell Dad
她不会来过圣诞了 that she is not coming over for Christmas.
为什么 因为我们已经离婚了 Why? Because we're divorced, Mum!
妈妈 不要担心 Well... Oh, Mum,don't worry about that.
我还是会快乐的 I'm still gonna be fun.
我依旧是那个快乐的乔希叔叔 I'm still gonna be fun Uncle Josh, you know?
好的，不用做那个了 Well, without doing that.
不，用不上在阁楼的圣诞老人装束了 No, you can leave the Santa suit in the attic.
因为我已经成年了 Why? Because I'm an adult
穿上那衣服装圣诞老人太尴尬了 and dressing up as Santa Claus would be embarrassing.
嗨，除非，你是为了做慈善用 Hi. Unless, you know, you're doing it for charity.
那 Then it's... Then it's, um...
对不起 Sorry.
告诉父亲我爱 Tell Dad that I love... Oh!
好运 That's lucky.
刷五美元行吗 Just put me down for five bucks, okay?
别挂 Hanging up, Mum.
嗨，凯拉，早上好 Hey, Carla, good morning.
那边有什么好东西值得看 You see something over there?What do you got?
我觉得那家星巴克 I think that Starbucks
- attracts a bad element, Josh. - Oh, yeah.
看着吧，只要给我权利 Listen.Give me the green light...
我就会让它关门 - Mmm-hmm. - ...and I'll shut it down.
我喜欢这个创意，很棒 Oh, I love that initiative.It's awesome.
你能快点登记让我进去吗 Could you sign me in real quick, please?
我希望可以，但是现在你只要能过闸机就行了 I wish I could, but they got us sending you through these machines now.
这样我不用一直坐着了 Gonna replace my ass, matter of time.
不会吧 That's never gonna happen.
这些机器没你可爱 凯拉 These machines don't have your smile, Carla.
- Make that money!
乔希，我们有状况了 Josh, we have a situation.
玛丽，你怎么总是在这个时间点出现 Mary!How do you always just appear?
你就像个弹出式广告 You're like a human pop-up ad.
你看了我最新的关于适当的工作着装的工作备忘录吗 Did you read my latest memo on appropriate work dress?
基本看过，要严格执行 Uh, almost done.Don't ruin the end.
有些人可没看，就是梅根 Well, some people didn't.And those people are Meghan.
没人听人事经理的 Nobody listens to H.R.
嗨，梅根 Hey, Meghan?
我想我已经声明过了 I thought that I have been clear about
关于衬衣上能有几颗纽扣可以解开 the number of buttons that can be unbuttoned on a shirt.
你是认真的吗，现在是冬季 - You were serious about that? - It's winter. Can we
我们可以不用这么暴露吗 put Dancer and Prancer back in their stable?
你现在是对她进行人身攻击吗 Are you body-shaming her right now?
办公室其他人 Some people here
或许会觉得你的服装有挑逗性 might find your outfit offensive.
好吧，有人觉得你的服装也有问题 Well, some people might find your outfit offensive.
而且让人十分疑惑 And really confusing.
我觉得我没问题 Oh, I thought it was clear.
这是件教派的假日毛衣 This is a multi-denominational holiday sweater.
上面有圣诞标志 It has Christmas,
还有光明节，宽扎节 Hanukkah, Kwanzaa,
佛教启蒙的日子 the Buddhist day of enlightenment,
还有节礼日，所有都包括了 and Boxing Day on it. Everyone's included!
都包括了吗 Is everyone included?
上面怎么没有撒旦 What about, um, what about something for the Satanists?
杰瑞米 拜托 我赞赏你刚才说的话 Jeremy, come on. I... I admire the stand that you're taking,
但是让我们计划下工作日后的抗议集会好吗 but let's schedule the protest rally for after the workday, shall we?
玛丽，就先这样吧 And, Mary, let's let it slide.
谢谢 Thank you.
早上好 各位 Good morning, everybody.
你不能让我们所有人都沉默 You can't silence us all.
我知道你啥原因休病假了 I know why you took a medical leave.
她太漂亮了把她带出去有点不安全 It's hard for me to bring her out in public because she's so beautiful.
嗨，伙计们 Hey, guys.
人们把模特们都看的难以平易近人 People put models on this crazy pedestal, but
但是我想贝嘉爱上我的原因 I think that's why, you know,Becca fell for me,
就是我对她就像一个平常一样 because I just treat her Iike a normal person.
好样的 你会邀请 Good for you, man.Hey, so, um, are you gonna be
你的假女友来参加圣诞派对吗 inviting your fake girlfriend to the holiday party later?
你得确保有时间 I mean, I just want to make sure you have time
先给你的假女友充气 - to inflate her.
贝卡是真实的 Okay, Becca's real.
我们不准备把工作与娱乐混为一体 And we're not gonna mix business with pleasure.
听起来他没有邀请她 Sounds like he didn't invite her, dude.
上帝，你真的没有 Oh, my God, did you not...
我希望你的假女友没有生气 Oh, no! I mean, I hope she's not imaginary pissed.
否则你的假女友不帮你口活了 You won't get any moreimaginary blow jobs.
对吗 - Right?
蒂姆，德鲁 Tim. Drew.
嗨，离圣诞节没几天了 Hey, it's a couple days before Christmas.
在放假前我们还是保持正常的工作状态行吗 Let's just try to keep it positive till then, okay?
我们都很阳光向上 - We're totally positive. - No, we're all about...
只有他一脑子的浆糊 Totally positive that he is full of shit.
嗨 - Hey...
纳特你要亲自带她来 You bring it on yourself, Nate.
我有女朋友的 You know, I do have a girlfriend.
我明白 I know.
她是真实存在的 She's a human woman, and we've done it.
或许工作期间还是不要过多讨论她 Maybe just don't talk about her so much at work.
这只会让那些家伙妒忌你 It's just gonna make those guys jealous.
你知道，你不仅是他们的领导，而且你还有个辣妹女友 You know, not only are you their boss,but you also have a hot girlfriend.
你明白了 - You know?
太完美了，我都恨你 是啊 - It's too much. I hate you.- Yeah.
一天愉快 你也是 - Have a good day.- You, too!
你能相信公司又提高了自动售卖机商品的价格吗 Can you believe corporate raised the price in the vending machine again?
姜汁汽水要2美元了 $2 for ginger ale?
他们这是要小刀切肉啊 They're trying to crush us like ants!
这间办公室有太多的负能量 No, there's a lot of bad energy in this office.
这他妈的怎么回事 乔希 Yo, Josh, what the fuck?
这他妈的怎么回事 崔西 What the fuck, Tracey?
你换了安全码没告诉我 You changed the security code without telling me?
对，我很敏感不喜欢被人偷学 Yeah, I'm working on sensitive shit,and I don't want prying eyes.
我会偷学吗 我可是你的主管 I'm prying eyes? I'm your supervisor.
首席技术官 系统工程师 Chief technical officer,Iead systems engineer.
好吧，我还是唯一能黑进安全频道的人 Yeah, well, I'm the only one who knows how to hack the security panel, so
所以，你没我厉害 suck my dick.
说的好 Nice. Okay.
你现在正做什么工作 What are you working on?
哦，这个解释起来太复杂了 Oh, it's too complicated to explain.
那是什么，双动压缩机的子程序 What is that, subroutine for duplex compression?
别告诉我我说对了 Don't tell me that's what I think it is.
这可是未来的尖端技术 This is the future of Zenotek.
嗨，我们应该把它定位在数字城市那里 Hey, we should pitch this to Data City!
那可是个理念 That's a theory.
你想让公司使用这个理念吗 You want to peg the company to a theory?
伙计，你过去经常会被这种创意所振奋 Man, you used to get excited by big ideas.
可你现在不会了 只会一遍遍的重复询问同一件事 Now you just bunt, and ask for the same thing over and over.
我必须试下 I swing for the fences.
我要让他们接受这个理念 And I'm going to change the fucking game.
好吧，我需要数字城市的具体参数 Okay. I need the specs for the Data City pitch, please.
已经好了 Already done. Here.
够快的 Great. That was fast.
谢谢，不客气 - Thank you. - You're welcome.
你还好吗 还行 - Hey, are you okay? - Yeah.
真的吗 你今天看起来有点奇怪 Really? Because you seem a little off today.You seem a little weird.
还行，哦我的天 - Well... - Oh, my gosh!
今天是离婚的日子，是吗 Today is the day, right? Hey!
恭喜你自由了 Congratulations, you're free!
你应该去纹身再去买点紧身的牛仔裤 You gonna get a back tattoo and some skinny jeans?
可惜资金有点紧张啊，但是 Funds are a little tight,but...
自由的感觉真是好 It feels good to be free.
是啊 Yeah.
谢谢你的数据 All right. Thank you for this.
嗨，乔希 怎么 Hey, J. - Yeah?
我又给你准备了圣诞礼物了 I got you for Secret Santa again.
我给你也准备了 I know. I got you, too.
哦，亲爱的，太棒了，妈妈为你自豪 Oh, sweetie, that is so great! so proud of you.
嗨，能让爸爸过来 Hey, could you put your daddy back
接电话吗 on the phone for a second?
嗨，奥尔森，他有空吗 去你妈的 - Hey, Allison. Is he ready? - You fucking motherfucker!
如果再让我知道一次你让你的脱衣服女友 If I hear you let your stripper girlfriend
带我的孩子坐她的摩托 put my children on her motorcycle one more time
我会让你再次失去女友的 I will Gone Girl you so hard!
你可以进去了 好的，谢谢 - You can go in. - I'll just go in. Thank you.
不，不要试图出售 No, no, no.Don't try and sell this
这是双赢的局面 as some win-win situation.
我不是第一次比赛，行吗 This is not my first rodeo, okay?
是数字城市吗 不是 - Is that Data City? - No.
不 No.
瑞克，你到底想不想要交易了 Rick, do you want this deal or not?
因为如果你需要他 Because if you want him,
你就要为他付钱 you're gonna have to pay for him.
现在差不多到了季后赛 It's almost the playoffs,
可不是常规赛 not the second week of the regular season.
完美的选择 Perfect.It's the right choice.
这个联赛里我是老大 I am running a train on this league.
我不认为这意味着 I... I don't think that that means
你想要什么意思 what you want it to mean.
我愿意今天中午晚点 I'd love to talk to you about the Data City pitch,
时候和你谈下数据城市部分 for later on this afternoon?
好的，但首先我需要你的一些意见 Yes, but first I want your opinion on something.
我们有危机了 We've got kind of a crisis.
这是公司给每个人的 This is what corporate wants us to give
圣诞礼物 就只有这了 everyone for Christmas.Just this.
这个可不能发出去 Yeah, can't hand that out.
我已经感觉到了 And I'm already feeling kind of a
大家在这集体骂娘的情景了 "fuck you" vibe down there,
这绝对不是圣诞节该有的氛围 definitely not Christmas spirit.
我很赞同 I can't argue with you there.
好的，我需要你能在 Good. I want to Secret Santa the shit
员工会议解决这个问题 加油吧 out of the staff meeting.Come on.
我们能边走边聊工作吗 Can we work and walk?
你不穿大衣不冷吗 You're not cold without a big coat on?
不冷，我每个冬天都要增重15磅 No, I gain fifteen pounds every winter
所以不用穿 so I don't have to wear one.
身体够好的 没办法 - Huh. That's a healthy choice. - Not really.
嗨，你会带人来公司的晚会喝红酒和奶酪吗 Hey, are you bringing anybody to this wine and cheese thing?
就我一个 Uh, no, I'll be there solo.
聪明，那样你就可以主攻崔西了是不是 Good. Smart. So you can focus on Tracey, right?
崔西和我只是工作关系 你什么意思 Tracey and I work together. What are you talking about?
我只是说我不能永远做你工作上的贤内助 I'm just saying. I can't be your work wife forever.
嗨，你觉得你有多快 Hey, how fast do you think you'd have to go
才能从那桥上越过去 - to make that jump? - Uh...
不知道，是从车里吗 - Boy, I don't know. In a car? - Yeah.
我从没有考虑过 I just never thought about that.
你的想法就像个喝醉酒的孩子 You know, your mind's like a drunk baby.
你觉得要多快 80迈还是90迈 What do you think, 80 or 90?
范迪塞尔或者是泰瑞斯他们会怎么做 What would Vin do? Vin Diesel? Or Tyrese?
他们从来没有做过是吗，这是自杀，除非 They'd never make it, right? It's suicide. Unless
你开到120迈，这样你就可以 you were going 120, you put a bunch of free weights
让这堆铁家伙追随这气流 in the trunk to even it out, you know,
把自己给飞出去了 then you just catch air.Boosh!
去他妈的地心引力还有多米尼克 托雷多 "Fuck you, gravity, and you, Dom Toretto!"
然后 Then...
平滑的着地，就像婴儿屁股那么软滑 ...just a smooth landing,Iike a baby's buttocks.
我更愿意在室内进行 I'd love to pick this up indoors.
我只看过速度与激情的第一部 You know, I've only ever seen the first film,
所以我不觉得在这件事情 so I don't know if I'm much help to you
上我能给你太多帮助 in this conversation. So...
你是认真的吗 为什么我刚才听见的都是关于这个的 Are you serious? Why am I just hearing about this?
我们已经一起工作8年了 We've worked together for eight years.
唯一学会的就是更快，更疯狂 They only get more fast! More furious!
我爱这个地方 I love this place.
大家都需要什么东西 他们会喜欢什么那 So, what would people want?Would they like... Ooh!
是这个紫外线灯吗 紫外线有益还是有害的，我已经忘了 Is this UV?Is UV good or bad? I forget.
对眼睛无益 不好 - Not good for the eyes, no.
Does it do anything here?
可能，这是 Probably. Is this for
做牙齿美白用的吗 不是 - teeth whitening? No.
好吧，这个怎么样 Okay, what about this, right?
每个人在每年这个时候 Everybody gets stressed at work...
工作都有压力 - ...around this time of year.
恩 Huh.
那东西会让你惹上性骚扰诉讼的 That could get you a sexual harassment suit.
为什么 What? Why?
不是每个人都喜欢圣诞节收到成人用品的 Not everyone likes dildos for Christmas.
这个不是，这是按摩用的 This isn't a dildo. It's a body massager.
好吧，这是个没有包皮的紫色阳具 Yeah, well, it's a circumcised purple penis.
这个会被联想到性 It could be considered sexual.
为什么会这样 Why is it like that?
这儿的每件东西都能被联想到性 Everything here could be considered sexual.
嗨，这个给艾伦怎么样 不算骚扰吧 Hey, what about this for Alan from legal?
艾伦是秃顶 - Well, Alan's bald.
给秃子买东西真困难 It's so hard to shop for the bald.
他们是谁 他们想要什么 Who are they?What do they want?
要头发 Hair.
或许我们应该去买些礼物卡 You know, maybe we should just go get some gift cards.
这才是我们真正应该做的 That's exactly what we should do!
公司那已经有卡了，我不关心这个 "Here's a gift card because I don't know you
而且我也不想惹麻烦 "and I don't care and I won't get in trouble for it."
当我老爸运营这家公司的时候 You know, when my dad ran this company,
圣诞节其实是个大事情 Christmas was actually a big deal.
每年的圣诞派对 At the Christmas party every year,
他都会穿成圣诞老人 he would dress up like Santa Claus,
每个人都觉得很好 get everybody fucked up.
你可以效仿他 Yeah, you could back then.
他会把礼物丢向狂欢的人群 He would throw gifts into the crowd.
Derek Peterson shattered his femur for a rotisserie set.
And that was before Boston Chicken was, like, a thing.
我已经听过这些故事了，他关心过他们 - I've heard those stories.- He took care of them.
我也想对我的员工这么做，你明白吗 That's what I want for my people. You know?
我要那架无人机 And I want that drone.
克莱，让我问你个问题 Clay, let me ask you a question.
你觉得我的管理分格是不是太古板了 You think that my management style is... Is too careful?
你是不是觉得 Uh, do you think that I bunt
我应该转换下分格了 instead of swing for the fences?
我真正的以你为荣，乔希 I want to be completely honest with you, Josh.
我没有注意，所以我也没听见你问题 I wasn't paying attention, so I didn't hear your question.
我可以重复下，我希望你不要 - I can repeat it.- I'd rather you didn't.
因为我可以认真 Because I can tell by your face that it's serious.
直面的并且严重的告诉你 And I want to tell you seriously,
这是圣诞节，放松就行 it's almost Christmas. Relax.
你要这个，是的 - You want some of this? - I think so.
我不觉得你会，你确定吗 - I don't think you do.- You sure?
我想你最好跑起来 I think you better get moving.
开始了 Uh-oh. Here he goes!
恩 Huh?
打中你了 - Eat that! Eat it, Clay!
小心，小心 - Careful, careful, careful!
还好没事 - We're good.
哦，不要 Oh, no!
哦 Oh...
嗨 - Hey!
哦，有人要被炒鱿鱼了 Ooh, somebody is getting fired.
嘿，艾莉森，是吗 Hey, uh, Allison? Right?
是的，我是 佛瑞德 - Yeah. - I'm Fred.
我刚加入会计部 I just joined accounting.
嗨 Hi.
我看见你桌上的照片了 Um, so, I saw that photo on your desk.
那是你的孩子们 Are those your kids?
对 一个两岁 一个四岁 - Yep. They're two and four. - Oh.
我是单亲妈妈 I'm a single mum. Ugh.
太好了 That's great.
我也是单亲家庭长大的，真的 - I was raised by a single mum. - Really?
对，如果你问我图派克唱的对不对 Yeah. If you ask me,Tupac was right.
不是一个活着的女人 "Ain't a woman alive
能代替我妈妈的 "that could take my mama's place."
我没听过那首歌 I don't know that song.
哦 糟糕 Oh, shit.
艾莉森 Allison.
克莱在哪，他不在 - Where's Clay? - He's unreachable.
他正在参加一个有伊隆马斯克 He's participating in a conference... Summit...
出席的 Elon Musk, uh,
关于科技与继电器的峰会 tech participation... Relay.
让我再问一遍 Let's try that again.
艾莉森，克莱在哪 Allison, where's Clay?
他在圣诞扫货 很好 - He's Christmas shopping. - Okay.
我要求所有的部门领导人 I would like all department heads
五分钟内在会议室集合 in the conference room in five minutes.
告诉他别看着我 Tell him to stop looking at me.
转过去 Look away.
他很可爱 Ooh. No, he's cute. Oh.
其实 Actually...
电话永远响不停 It's like the calling never stops.
我知道这很讨厌 I know.It's so annoying.
你这是耍我那 Ugh! You have got to be shitting me.
酒保说 So the bartender says,
我们从没没见过这么多猩猩，然后猩猩说 "We don't see many gorillas."And the gorilla says,
好吧，请我喝杯马提尼，我就告诉你原因 "Well, at $12 for a martini I can see why not."
你知道很多关于猩猩的笑话 You know a lot of gorilla jokes.
对的，对不起 - Yeah. - Excuse me.
发生什么了，情况不对啊 What's going on? Something's off.
对啊，每个人都在干活 Yeah, everyone's working.
不好 Oh, shitster.
是我姐姐 It's my sister.
她在那 There she is! My sister from another mister!
我开玩笑的 我们的母亲 I'm kidding, our mother
直到90年代中期才开始有事务的 didn't start having affairs until the mid-90s.
你在这干什么 What are you doing here?
我们只是审查你的第四季度收益 Well, we were just going over your fourth quarter earnings.
我想我是不是漏了什么 And I wondered if I was missing something.
可能吧 Probably.
克莱，为什么不坐下 Clay, why don't you have a seat?
这是我的分公司，所以我还是站着比较好 Uh, no. It's my branch, so I prefer to stand.
好的 Fine.
艾莉森，请你帮克莱拿掉椅子 Allison, would you please remove Clay's chair?
好的，谢谢 - Uh, sure. - Thank you.
对不起 Sorry.
艾莉森，谢谢 Thank you, Allison.
我们都感到有些失望 So we were all a little bit disappointed
上个季度没有达到7%的增长 not to hit 7% growth in this last quarter.
但是在行业整体下降的情况下，6.5%的标准还是可行的 But 6.5% is right on industry standard for the fall.
你们需要达到12%的增长 Mmm-mmm. You need to hit 12%.
12% 这是新标准 - Twelve? - Twelve is the new seven.
什么，从什么时候开始的 - What? - Since when?
从老爸死了 - Since Dad died
董事会任命我做CEO后开始的 and the board made me CEO.
哦，你是临时的CEO Oh. You mean interim CEO.
闭嘴，听着，本质上讲这间分公司已经摇摇欲坠了 Shut up. Listen, essentially,this branch is failing.
达到6.5%就不会关门 6.5% is not failing.
也会的 Yes, it is.
我们做的要比奥兰多好 We're doing better than Orlando.
去年我们销售了一半的产品 I mean, half those jack-offs had mono last year, right?
好吧，我今早已经关闭了奥兰多分公司 Well, I closed the Orlando branch. This morning.
什么 What?
我很抱歉 I am sorry.
该死 我讨厌压力 Damn it. I hate tension, and I...
我放的屁 I farted.
喔 你没有 - Wow. - You are not
卖出足够的产品与服务 selling enough servers.
你没有新的创意 公司也没有新的收益 You have no new ideas and there is no new revenue.
我有新东西，真的吗 - I have something new. - Really?
你没有，我有 - No, you don't. - Yeah, I do.
还不完善 可以的 - It's not ready. - It is ready.
还不完善 可以的 - It's not ready. It is ready.
你们当我假的 对不起 Uh, we can hear you. - Yeah, sorry.
我们在这都能听到 We can.It's a completely silent room.
继续 Go ahead.
网络上最让人讨厌的事情是什么 What's the most annoying thing about the Internet?
儿童色情图片，各种邀请函 - Pictures of people's kids. - Linkedln invites.
我女友总是在上网，我有女友了 My girlfriend's always on it.I have a girlfriend.
亚洲男性就就知道AV The lack of Asian male representation in porn.
喵星人 长的像加菲猫 Grumpy Cat. It's like... It's Garfield.
Oh, you know that orange with the human dick?
上帝，说的都是什么，什么秘密武器 Oh, my God, what is this, Shark Tank?
请你说重点吧 Can you just get to the point, please?
是与网络有关的 - It's getting on the Internet. - Mmm.
我们已经能够通过标准的专用网络线 So we can already connect to the Internet
与网络连接了 through standard electrical lines
而且很明显这些信号是通过空气进行传播的 and obviously we can do it through the air.
但如果我们可以把这些技术 But what if we could combine those technologies?
运用在 Zenotek AnywAir上 - With Zenotek AnywAir,
你可以把无线网络放进 you can pull the Internet wirelessly
任何与电网连接的设备上 from anything that's connected to a power grid.
像你的家用电器 路灯 灯泡 Your appliances.Street lights. A light bulb.
你永远不用担心超出接受范围，也不用担心信号会减弱 You're never out of range, and you're never low on signal.
是随时随地 It's AnywAir.
这就是未来 We're in the future.
你能拿出产品吗 And you can deliver that?
我还在研究一些代码上问题，但是我们可以拿出 I'm still figuring out some coding issues, but yes.
好付，你要多久研发时间 Well, how long have you been figuring?
4年，4年 - Four years. - Four years?
好吧，这听上去不怎么可行 All right, well, that doesn't sound very real to me.
如果是真的，我也不用去创造它了 Well, if it was real,I wouldn't have to invent it.
很抱歉 - I'm sorry,
再问下你的名字 崔西 修斯 - what's your name again? - Tracey Hughes.
如果你再忘了的话 And if you forget again,
在所有Zenotek最近的专利上都有我名字 it's on all of the recent patents for Zenotek.
恩 Mmm-hmm.
我要坐下了 You know what? I'm gonna sit.
不是因为你让我坐的，而是因为 Not because you told me to, but because I
我想坐了 prefer it.
所以 So...
恩 Mmm-hmm.
还有其它的事吗，有的 - Is there anything else? Actually, yes.
这是今晚晚会的奶酪样品 This is a sample cheeseboard for our holiday mixer tonight.
这个样板看上去有点重 I know it's a little heavy on the Gouda...
这些都是去年最好卖的品种 的That was the MVP last year.
上面有切达干酪 Uh, I do have a feisty Cheddar on the bench.
我自认为这些奶酪配 I think that pairs better with
不含酒精的葡萄酒更适合 the mulled non-alcoholic wine myself, but what do I know?
等下，不好意思 Wait, wait. I'm sorry. Excuse me.
你们今晚要开圣诞派对 You're having a Christmas party tonight?
哦，不是圣诞派对 Oh, it's not a Christmas party!
是宗教节日混合晚会 It's a non-denominational holiday mixer.
包括很多节 More inclusive.
不管它是什么，不准开 Well, whatever the fuck it is,it's not happening.
好吧，绝对 不准开 Yeah, it's definitely...Well, it's not "happenin"'
下午5点半之后才开的 because it happens at 5:30 in the afternoon.
这只是个小事 It's just a small thing
这对我们大家很重要，但是 that's really important to all of us, but
相信我 会很棒的 - trust me, it's gonna suck.
不会举行了，我要取消它 No, it's not gonna suck,because it's cancelled.
什么 What?
所有分公司的圣诞派对全部被取消了 All branch Christmas parties are cancelled.
这是浪费钱 It's a waste of money!
拜托，你们没收到公司的圣诞礼物吗 Come on.What are you guys not getting?
好吧，取消 All right, it's cancelled.
没有 It's not.
克莱 我说的是礼物 Clay! I mean it.
我 卡罗尔 伙计们 Me, too, Carol. Guys,
派对取消了 the holiday mixer is cancelled.
是 Yes.
嗨，取消了，克莱 Hey! It's cancelled, Clay!
不会再举办了 The thing is not happening at all.
我没有干扰你 I'm not messing with you.
嗨，别打手势 Hey! Stop doing that!
嗨，白痴，我正盯着你 Hey, idiot, I'm looking right at you.
我已经看见了，你和那个举奶酪样品的老女人在打手势 I saw that! You whispered to the farty cheese lady.
好吧 Well...
不要逼我动用职权 Don't make me pull rank, Clay.
取消 It is cancelled.
好吧 Fine!
那这个会议也取消了吧 Then this meeting is cancelled! Huh?
该死的 Damn it!
我在里面给你留了面子 I was keeping it light in there.
给我留面子了 That was light, huh?
乔希 你应该反击她 她恨这些派对 You have to give her a break,Josh. She's hated parties
因为从来没人邀请她参加 ever since she started not getting invited to them.
拜托，派对是你的问题 Please. That party's the least of your problems.
那是父亲 Is that Dad?
不是，卡罗尔，我随便 No, Carol, I just have some random guy's
找了些家伙的骨灰放在办公室的 ashes in my office.
网上买的 Got it online.
好吧，他想我放在这，在这间他的分公司里 Yes. He wanted them here, with me, at his branch.
我以为他们要把他一视同仁的 I thought they were gonna divide him equally.
他更喜欢我 It's not my fault that he always liked
这不是我错 hanging out with me more.
我不关心，现在公司是我掌管 I don't care.I got this company.
动起来 Moving on.
我们有很多地方需要整改 We have a lot of big cuts to make. Okay?
很明显，奖金也被取消了 Obviously, bonuses are cancelled.
你知道，很多人都在 You know, there's a lot of people that
期待这些奖金 are relying on those bonuses.
我建议你还是要发奖金的 I suppose you're still getting your bonus, though.
第二点，我要消减你40%的员工 Secondly, I'm laying off 40% of your staff.
40 Forty?
40 我们有200个雇员，那就是60个 Forty? We have 200 employees. That's like, 60...
是80 - Some... - That's 80. It's 80.
80个雇员 Eighty. That's, like, 80 employees.
你要给我们 Uh, you got to give us
点时间来做这个事 a little bit of time to turn this around.
好吧，到本季度末必须完成 Fine, then you have until the end of the quarter.
那才2天，是吗 - That's two days. - Is it? Oh, well.
这不公平 This is unfair.
你想谈公平 You wanna talk unfair?
爸爸缺席我的哈佛毕业典礼 How about Dad skipping my Harvard graduation
就为了陪你去世界极限运动会 这公平吗 to go with you to the X Games?
你甚至都不是去比赛的 And you weren't even competing.
你只是赞助别人去玩花式滑水的 You just sponsored some guy's wakeboard.
那人得了铜牌 那里面也有点金的 He got the bronze.Which is brown gold.
好吧，我已经做好第一批被解雇员工的名单 All right, so I've made a list of my first round of layoffs.
你只要拿起笔 So you might wanna get a pen
抄一下就行了，不行，让我看下 - and start writing these down. - No. Let me see that.
不行，给我 - No. No. - Give me that.
不行，这些是我的员工 - No! - These are my employees!
伙计们，需要这样做吗 - Guys, are we sure about this?
说你不消减预算 Say you won't make budget cuts.
我向上帝发誓，克莱 I swear to God, Clay!
我要吐痰了 Here comes the loogie express!
你敢，说人人 - Don't you dare! - Say, "Everybody's
都有奖金 否则我就 你他妈的 - "gonna get a bonus," or else. - You motherfucker.
吞回去，你他妈的 Suck that back in. You suck that back in! You mother...
克莱 Clay.
上帝啊 - Oh, my God!
为什么要自讨苦吃 Why do you do this to yourself?
你知道我学了九年的近身格斗 You know I took nine years of Krav Maga.
卡罗尔，他脸色不对了 Carol, you know, he's turning blue.
我们是一家人，你认输就行 Yeah. Our family, you got to tap out.
认输吗 - Tap out. Tap out.
好了 Okay.
你还好吗 All right. You okay?
你整个人生爸爸样样都随你心愿 Dad gave you a free pass your entire life,
但你从我这一样也得不到 and you're not getting one from me.
你唯一的出路就是今年通过消减 The only way you're gonna hit your targets this year
达成目标 is by cutting jobs.
嗨 如果我们 - Hey, what if we landed
参与数据城市计划那 the Data City account?
数据城市 沃特 戴维斯，对的 - Data City? Walter Davis? - That's right.
你知道他已经与惠普 You do know that he's already met with HP,
思科，甲骨文见过面了 Cisco and Oracle.
是的，但是他还没有听过我们的计划 Yeah, but he hasn't heard our pitch.
不行 - No. - (PANTING)
乔希和我已经实施了几周时间了 Josh and I have been drilling into it for weeks.
是几个月 整个团队 Yeah. Months. Whole team.
我们有个会 And we have a meeting
今天中午和他一起开 - with him this afternoon. - Yeah.
好吧 All right.
我今晚会飞去伦敦 Well, I'm on a flight to London tonight.
如果有奇迹能让你们接近沃特 戴维斯 So if by some miracle you guys can close Walter Davis
和他那个1仟4百万的大合同 and his $14 million contract
并在我到达希思罗前搞定 by the time I land at Heathrow,
那就不用裁员 the jobs are safe.
成交 Done!
到时候你就会发现自己有多愚蠢 And you'll see, you're gonna look so stupid.
我们总算是有共同点了 Then we'll finally have something in common.
混蛋，她太刻薄了 Goddamn it! She's so mean!
大家都在说，消减，怎么消减啊 People are saying "cuts." What kind of cuts?
没有官方消息 Oh, nothing's official.
伙计们，我已经承受不了房租了 Guys, I can barely afford my rent.
我睡的地方已经像壁橱那样小了 I'm sleeping in a closet.
不要惊慌 Don't panic.
你不能放弃新进员工吧 You can't replace the new guy, right?
你们应该考虑裁掉那些工龄长的人 You're probably gonna go with people that are older,
他们太贵了 不要反应过度 - more expensive? - Don't overreact.
我刚买了辆二手的凌志，退不了货的 I just bought that used Lexus,Josh. I can't give it back.
I put rims on it, man!
我有六只鹦鹉都有严重的疾病 I have six parrots with very expensive medical issues.
你知道的 You know this.
我现在准备放弃一个了 I'm gonna have to put one down.
没人会失业 - Nobody is losing their jobs! - Yeah.
那是乔希和克莱的圣诞承诺 That is a Josh and Clay Christmas promise.
你的承诺就是狗屎 Your promises are dog shit!
他们反应太快了，是的 - Boy, they turned quick. - Yeah, they sure did.
上帝啊，这是乱伦和强奸 Jesus. Incest and rape?
太黑暗了 I mean, that is dark.
那是个不寻常的克莱 That could be a different Clay.
和卡罗尔 And Carol.
我们必须落实这个计划 We got to land this pitch.
大家都知道我们正在做什么吗 Okay, everybody knows what we're doing?
好的，我们在计划拯救我们的分公司 Sure. We're just pitching to save our company. No biggie.
我们要证明我姐姐他整不垮我们 And we're proving that my sister doesn't fuck me.
我会整垮她 - If anything, I fuck her! - All right.
听着，我明白重点 Yeah, listen, I get the spirit of that, but...
我们在Zenotek系统里把客户放在 We at Zenotek put the "client"
服务分配模式的主从架构里 in client-server model service distribution.
这个给你留下做参考 And this is a leave-behind.
我们有了新革新 And we have some new innovation
这部分我们晚点会向你说明的 that we can talk to you about later. Later.
你与我们的合作 You got to... You got to go with us.
好的 Okay.
谢谢 Thank you for the pitch.
给我计划书，我会让你们知道我的决定 Just give me a beat, and I'll Iet you know my decision.
好吧，你是要我们一小时 Okay. When you say "beat," you're talking about an hour
还是一天里拿出来 or a day? A full day?
当然是在假期前，我想的对吗 Certainly before the holidays, I'd imagine, right?
听着，因为圣诞了，所以我老实说 Listen, it's Christmas, so, I'll be honest.
你们的服务器很棒 Your servers are good.
戴尔的也很棒 Dell's servers are good.
所以 你要和我们 - So... - You're gonna go with us.
我要和戴尔合作 该死 - I'm gonna go with Dell. - Fuck!
为什么 别这样 - Why? - Don't.
我知道你的产品 I... I know your product.
我的问题是你们的公司文化 My problem is with your culture.
我们的公司文化很棒 Our culture is great.
我听到的不是这样 That's not what I hear.
传言说你们正在关闭分公司同时在裁员 Word is you're closing branches and making layoffs.
假的，不，这基本是真的 - That's not true. - No, that's barely true.
这是他们制造的谣言 A mixture of fabrication and rumour.
我明白你需要能创造效益 Look, I get it. You got to make money.
每一个季度你都需要创造大量的收益 And every quarter you got to make more money.
如果你解雇了一些员工 And if you got to fire some people
再消减一些福利的话还是有可能实现的 and cut back on some benefits to make it happen,
这就是现在的商业环境大背景 that's what business is now, right?
And as long as the board has gotten its bonus
and the stock is ticking up? Come on.
先生，我们不是这样的人 Sir, that's not who we are.
如果你来我们公司，你就会明白了 If you came to our offices, you would see that.
你应该来参观下 You should come meet our people.
我们是家族企业 Yeah, we're a family business.
人人友爱 Everyone loves everyone.
我意思是克莱和他姐姐 I mean, Clay and his sister,
他们亲密的都让人有些不适了 they're so close it's almost inappropriate.
我们希望有机会能证明你是错的 We would love the opportunity to prove you wrong.
我相信你的公司环境一定很好 I'm sure you have wonderful cubicles and great carpeting,
但是你们没机会了 but I've done those tours before.
我已经决定了 I'm gonna pass.
恩 Um...
非常感谢 Thank you so much.
我们来吧 Oh, we got that.
不用了，他们已经放我房间了 Oh, no, they've already put it on my room.
还加上了早餐费用 And in addition to the breakfast
我公司已经不愿在付更多钱了 my company won't pay for anymore.
祝你们好运 Good luck, guys.
太好，没戏唱了 Great. That was uplifting.
他把我们说的一文不值 He's saying we suck.
Our big closer was a thumb drive.
但是我们并不差 Yeah, but we don't suck.
我们要想办法向他说明 We just need a way to show him that.
我们怎么证明 How are we gonna do that? We're gonna
我们邀请他参加晚上的晚会 invite him to our cancelled wine and cheese night?
不，我们应该带他去参加真正的派对 No, we should take him out for real.
你听到他说了他公司 I mean, you heard him. His company
甚至都不愿付他的早餐费用 won't even buy him breakfast.
他是个中午喝苏格兰威士忌的老学究 He's an old school guy who drinks scotch at lunch.
我们应该带他去见识下真正的好东西 We should take him out and show him a great time.
那我们请他和特朗普一起 So we'll hook him up with Don Draper,
出去吃牛排顺便在讨论下安全专题问题 then go out and get a couple of steaks and an STD.
不，你们都没错 No, no, no. You're both right.
今晚的公司派对 We show him a great time
我们要给他个终生难忘的回忆 at our office Christmas party tonight.
什么，我不是那意思 What? I didn't say that.
这不是个糟糕的主意 对吗 - It's not the worst idea. - Right?
当然是， Of course it is. We don't even have
晚会已经取消了 an office Christmas party.
卡罗尔说了不允许有可自由支配的个人开支 Carol said no to all discretionary spending.
她要消减40%，你希望她翻倍 She wants to lay off 40%. You want to double that?
我姐姐不是要真正裁员40% My sister doesn't do anything at 40%.
她只是希望 She's just cutting off our legs
我们要老老实实 so we can't run away when she
听她的话，听从她的命令 wants to fucking curb-stomp our face.
这是我们拉拢沃特的办法 This is the way we close Walter.
我们办个他从没有见过的圣诞派对 We throw the best Christmas party he's ever been to.
他会看见我们是多么关心员工 He loves it, he loves us, he sees we care about people,
他会被我们的公司文化所折服 he falls in love with our culture,
他会愿意与我们一起共事 he wants to work with us.
这样我们就能保住所有人的工作 This is how we save everybody's job!
我喜欢，乔希 说同意 I like it, Josh. Say yes.
他要走了除非你有比这更好的主意 He's walking away, unless you have a better idea.
那是认可了 That's your approval sigh.
沃特 Walter?
We have one more pitch for you.
你参加派对吗 Do you party?
以前参加过 I used to.
好了，我们要在5小时 Okay, so we have to throw
里准备一个让人 a massive party from scratch in
疯狂的派对 five hours.
对的，我们要让办公司充满了疯狂的员工 Yeah. And we got an office full of pissed-off employees.
我可是派对组织者里的黑带高手 You guys, I got this. I have a black belt in partying.
就为了这我被寄宿学校 That's why I got kicked out of boarding school
和两个特护病房给赶出来了 and two intensive care units.
你看过这个吗，他妈的圣诞节 Listen. Did you see this? "It's F-ing Christmas, B's.
让我们他妈的一起喝酒 "Let's get mother-F-ing drunk.
必须出席，是的 - "Attendance mandatory." - Yeah.
会惹上官司的 Lawsuit!
玛丽，这都是为了大局 Mary, it's for the greater good, okay?
哦，乔尔，能帮个忙吗 Oh, Joel, would you do me a favour?
你能让弗雷德来克莱办公室吗 Would you get Fred up to Clay's office?
好的，谢谢 - Oh, yeah, sure. - Thank you.
等下，怎么 - Wait! - Yup.
我不知道是不是有帮助 I don't know if it's helpful,
但是关于今晚的音乐 but regarding the music tonight,
我正好有个朋友是很好的DJ I happen to have a friend who's a pretty good D.J.
太棒了，带他来 Great. Bring him.
我们又有了DJ - See, we already got a D.J. - Yep.
让我明确下 Um, so let me get this straight.
现在我们又要开派对了 Now we're having this great party
而且奖金也重新有了 and we're getting our bonuses at it.
是的，杰瑞米，因为你应得的 Yes, Jeremy, because you deserve it!
或许你不该承诺他们关于奖金的事 Maybe you shouldn't have promised them bonuses.
不行，第一条商业规则 No, first rule of business:
飞向月亮，你会着陆在太阳上 Shoot for the moon and you'll land on the sun.
我很想知道你在那学到这句的 I'd love to know where you read that.
让我们把重点放在沃特身上 And let's just focus on closing Walter.
你知道的卡罗尔要把这地方夷为平地 You know, Carol burned this place to the ground.
我们现在是为了一个新的黎明而奋斗 We are planting the seeds of a new dawn.
斯密蒂 克莱 Smitty? Clay Vanstone.
我没有死 No, I'm not dead. That was
那是谣言 虽然传的有模有样 just a rumour, although well-founded.
你这里能买到多少合法的酒 How much alcohol can I legally buy from you?
别挡路 Move out of my way.
我发誓，我会把它丢在你背上，闪开 I swear to God, I will drop this on your back. Move!
你知道吗 You know what?
圣诞快乐，你他妈的 Merry Christmas, you sweet motherfucker. Ah!
你会来的，斯密蒂 是的 - You're coming, yeah, Smitty? - Yes.
要这个吗 - Yes! Okay. You want this? - No.
好的 All right.
我要留着这头鹿 I'm keeping this lamb.
我们还要点其它的 We need something else,
让我们看上去很酷的东西 something that will make us look cool.
有人知道坎耶·维斯特吗 Does anybody know anybody who knows the Kanye West?
知道 No.
但我女友是公牛对的公关 But my girlfriend does P.R. for the Bulls.
你女友有朋友知道 Okay, does your girlfriend have a friend who knows
那个叫椰兹的人吗 the man that makes us call him Yeezy?
纳特 什么事，你看见了吗 Nate, what's up, man? Did you see?
在聚会上重要的人是受欢迎的 Significant others are welcome at the party. Look at that.
看起来我们要见到贝嘉了 Looks like we're finally gonna meet Becca.
是的 Yeah!
恩 Um, oh, shoot.
除非她今晚要工作到很晚，模特的职业没办法 Uh, except she's working late tonight. Modelling.
她拍摄的都是 Is she shooting the cover
胡扯杂志的封面吗 - of Full of Shit magazine?
你知道吗 她会来的 You know what? She's gonna be there.
伙计们，纳特的女友要来了 You guys! Nate's girlfriend's coming!
该死，快让我匹配一个 Shit! Match, match,match. Match! Come on.
派对结束后这些东西怎么处理 Okay. Um, what are we gonna do with these after the party?
全是废物了 Raffle.
作为一个要倒闭的分公司，我们的成效惊人 For a failing branch, we're surprisingly productive.
我希望卡罗尔能看到这些 Yeah, I just wish Carol could see this.
克莱，这不是好主意 Uh, no, Clay, that would be very bad.
正确 Yeah, you're right.
好吧，穿上你的派对服装 All right, go put on your party suits.
好的 今晚 - Yeah. - Tonight's gonna be
一定是个很棒的晚上 a great night.
克莱，我告诉过你了 Clay, I told you,
我不需要做准备 I don't need to do any pre-game for...
卡罗尔 做什么准备 - Carol. - Pre-game for what?
准备 今晚的设计概念开发 For the, uh, work session we got tonight.
为了完成 And to complete...
我们谈下沃特的任务 We're closing Walter Davis, you know?
真的有这个可能 It's going really, really well.
恩 第一阶段已经完成 - Hmm. (CLEARS THROAT) - Phase one's complete.
你为什么进来了 Why don't you come on in?
你不是要去伦敦了 I thought you were going to London.
我已经在去机场路上 I was on my way to the airport,
但是我想 but I thought I would stop by and
参观下你的单身公寓 have a tour of your bachelor pad.
也花不了我多长时间 Well, that didn't take long.
你怎么知道我离婚了 How did you know about my divorce?
你把紧急联系人换成自己了 Oh, you changed your emergency contact to "self."
只有单身的人 And nobody single by choice
才愿意住在高速公路边上 would live this close to the freeway.
你老婆是因为这件睡衣离开你的吗 Is that robe why your wife left you?
你想干嘛，卡罗尔 What do you want, Carol?
我要你去纽约为我工作 I want you to work for me in New York.
这间分公司你基本已经没办法运行了 You basically run this branch without the credit.
我给你双倍薪水，工作有保障 I will double your salary, you'll get job security,
还有一个不会引用史密斯飞船乐队歌曲 and a boss who doesn't end every memo
来结束每一次备忘录的老板 with a quote from Aerosmith.
我不会背叛克莱的，我在这里很开心 I could never do that to Clay, and I'm very happy where I am.
真的吗 真的 - Really? - Yeah.
不见的 I don't see happy.
我只看见糟糕，还有你的住所让我感到伤心 I see crappy. And a rug that makes me sad.
总之 Anyway, um...
我不理解你的理由 I don't know,
考虑下吧 当分公司关闭的时候 just think about it. When the branch closes,
克莱还有信托基金可以依靠 and Clay has a trust fund to fall back on,
你能得到什么 what are you gonna have?
肯定没啥 Not much.
圣诞快乐 - Merry Christmas!
谢谢，你应的 - Thank you. - You got it.
嗨，很高兴看见你 Hey, man. Good to see you. Hi.
8年了 Eight years
我在这工作了8年 转过去 - I've been working here. - Turn around.
卡拉 你总是希望能发现点什么 What are you hoping to find anyway, Carla?
你想找到什么违禁品 What's your dream contraband?
我就喜欢找你茬 I just like making you my bitch.
可以走了，谢谢 - You can go. - Thank you.
乔希，你看上去 - Josh. - Wow! You look like
像灰姑娘，如果她也加入了运输安全管理局 Cinderella, if she joined the TSA.
非常漂亮，注意看下这个 Very, very nice. Okay, take a look at this, please.
这是谁 Ooh, who's Mr December?
是今晚的VIP 沃特 戴维斯 This is Walter Davis, he's a VIP.
他进来的时候 I want you to do me a favour and let me know the second
我要你马上通知我，行吗 he comes in. Can you do that?
到时你会听到我美妙的嗓音的 You will hear the sound of heavy flirting.
短消息就行 Or just a text. That'd be great.
你晚点会来吗 And are you gonna join us later?
不 我必须在前台站好岗 No, I doubt it. I have to protect the front lines,
确保没有什么疯狂的事情发生 make sure no crazy stuff happens.
我已经做好准备了 But if it does... I'm ready.
聪明的知道带着枪 And you went with the yellow. Smart.
那是Right?
嗨 Hey.
今晚大家觉得怎么样，很棒 - How's everyone doing tonight? - Great.
今天我生日 阿 - It's my birthday. - Ah.
真的 很好 Really committing. That's nice.
看那 Hey, look at that!
嗨，这儿，苏萨 - Hi. - Hey, there, Susan.
漂亮的麋鹿，你好吗 - Nice reindeer, right? - How you doin'?
请放在衣帽间 Throw that in coat check for me please.
谢谢，你看起来不错 Thank you. You look great. Oh.
嗨，乔希，嗨，丹恩 - Hey, Josh. - Hey, Dean.
你带孩子来了 You... You thought you'd bring the kid, huh?
没人照看他 Yeah. We couldn't get anyone to watch him.
别担心，他有IPAD就行 But don't worry, he has an iPad.
哪怕我们拿起斧头自相残杀，他也不会注意 We could axe murder each other and he wouldn't even notice.
他只会坐在那里，露出愚蠢的表情 He'll just sit there with that dumb look on his face.
就是这表情 Yeah, that's the one.
你能把他放在我办公室吗 Okay. Well, can you stick him in my office for me?
如果你没意见，可以的 - If you're cool with that. - Sure. Well, not cool, but...
玩得开心，谢谢 - Have a good time. - Thank you.
好的，让我们快点把他丢过去 All right. Let's drop him quick,
因为这些食物随时都会被拿出来 because these edibles are gonna kick in any second.
派克先生，罗德尼 - Hey, Mr Parker. - Hey, Rodney.
要酒吗 不用 - Want a Zeno Punch? - No.
手指套，也不用 - Foam finger? - Uh-uh, neither.
我们可以跳过这些 And, you know, we can skip this, too.
好想法， - Good spirit, though. Yep. - Okay.
给我杯啤酒，非常好吧，杰瑞米 Could I have a beer, please? Pretty great, huh, Jeremy?
太奇特了，我感觉还是在办公室 Yeah, it's so weird, I feel Iike I'm still at the office.
谢谢 Yeah. Oh. Thank you.
上帝 God,
我知道这一生中没有要求你太多 I know I haven't asked You for much in this life.
我出生于富裕人家 Granted, I was born rich.
还是个白人，男性，而且是个直男 And white. And male. And straight.
除了那一次，可那是在拉斯维加斯 Except for that one time. But that's Las Vegas.
但是今晚我请你能保佑这次派对 But tonight I need You to bless this party.
能成功举办 This party has to rock.
这样我们就能拿下沃特的合同 So we can get Walter's contract,
大家都能保住工作 so that everyone can keep their jobs,
尤其是艾莉森 especially Allison. I mean, she is losing it!
她有我的全部的私人信息 And she has all my personal information.
我们能证明我姐姐是错的 And so that we can prove my sister wrong.
告诉她我是个好老板 Show her that I am a good boss.
顺便给我老爸问个好 And will You say hi to our dad?
告诉他我们很想他 And tell him we really miss him.
我要穿上他的圣诞装 And that I'm rocking his Santa suit.
告诉王子还有大卫·鲍伊 Oh, and tell Prince and David Bowie
他们对于大家有多重要 how much they meant to everybody.
我是说迷宫和紫雨两首歌 I mean, Labyrinth, Purple Rain...
他们知道的 They know.
好了 All right,
让我们开始吧 Iet's light this fucking candle.
圣诞快乐 Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas, Zenotek!
我是圣诞老人 It's me, Santa Claus!
为了这个史诗性的夜晚来到这座城市 I'ma comin' to town for an epic night. Yay!
圣诞老人 Santa!
没关系 That's okay, we'll get there.
看这个 Watch this, Greg.
迪恩 清场，我来了 ，Dean! Clear. I'm coming around.
糟糕 Oh, shit.
上帝 Oh, God.
没关系 It's okay!
没事的，这是设计好的 It's okay! That was part of it.
圣诞老人，那个入口来的 Okay, Santa, what an entrance!
烟囱下面 Oh! Right down the chimney, folks!
圣诞快乐，贱人们，圣诞老人不会受伤的 Merry Christmas, bitches! Santa can't be hurt.
你没受伤吧 You doing okay? You all right?
真够疼的，没伤到吧 - That really did hurt, yeah... - Are you sure?
你知道吗，我用这个当垫子 But you know what, I had this for padding.
神啊，他妈的这是干什么 Holy shit. What the fuck is that?
告诉我都是合法的钱 Tell me that's not for something illegal.
合法的，不要担心，都是我的 No, no, no. Don't worry, this is all mine.
I rented one of those Money Tornados.
为了晚点发奖金 So for the bonuses later,
我要制造一场钱雨 I'm gonna make it rain like a hurricane.
你确定你不是冲昏头脑了吗 Are you sure you're not getting carried away?
这看起来要花不少钱了 This seems like a lot of money you're spending.
这是圣诞节 Josh, this is Christmas, okay?
没人比我能更精打细算了 And if anybody knows how to work within a budget, it's me.
行了，别说 All right? And speaking of.
看你的了 There you go. Hi.
好的，神啊 - Cool. - Little Jesus.
你租了一个婴儿吗 是的 为了基督降生场景再现 - Did you rent a live baby? - Yeah, for the nativity scene.
什么 比你想的便宜 What? It's cheaper than you think, okay?
是吗 Is it?
DJ克莱维斯在这里 Oh, shit! DJ Calvis in the house tonight!
上帝啊 Oh, God, no.
加我的快照族DJ克莱维斯 Add my Snapchat: DJ Calvis.
约珥的朋友看上去都像约珥 Joel's friend looks just like Joel.
看起来 今晚是个造人的好时机 Ooh! Looks like some babies getting made tonight!
我可不想今晚怀孕 I'm not looking to get pregnant tonight.
打扰下 对不起 Excuse me. Sorry. Sorry.
你有点出格了 Joel, that's a red card for you.
今晚不适合造人 Um, babies are not getting made tonight,
不适合在公司场所 not here on company property.
如果你要需要做爱 If you're going to have intercourse,
请去周边的 please go beyond the flood lamps
广场没路灯的地方 at the perimeter of the plaza
或是来爱德公司停车场里面 and into the Rite Aid parking lot.
很对，因为今晚是个疯狂的夜晚 That's right. 'Cause we fucking tonight!
主意语言 - Joel. Language.
这里是办公室 This is still an office, and
虽然已经是晚上了，但是不能没有规矩 even though it's dark outside,the rules don't turn off.
规矩不能改变，但是你可以忽视它 The rules may not turn off,but your inhibitions can!
我说的是要把你的小车 I'm talking about take your pee-pees out
放进某些人的停车场里 and put 'em in some booties!
记住今晚你所做的决定 And remember that tonight the decisions you make
会对你今后的职业生涯 will have consequences that will haunt you
产生影响 for the rest of your professional lives.
还有 And, um...
玩的开心 And so have fun.
玛丽，人人都有生理需要 Yeah, Mary, way to psyche everybody up!
如果要做爱 Main takeaway: If you're gonna fuck,
去停车场 do it in the parking lot.
不管它了 - Turn it up!
嗨 收拾的很干净 - Hey. - Hey! Someone cleans up nice.
哦 Oh...
我之前穿了些其它衣服的 Yeah, I... I'm wearing the same clothes, from earlier.
只是个玩笑 Oh, yeah. I was just making a party joke.
我不想回家换了衣服 I didn't want to go all the way home
然后再回来，所以我只是坐进车里换了些 and then come back, so I just sat in my car and worked.
而且我还要给手机充电 Oh, also I was waiting for my phone to charge.
哦，那么你该充的地方都充完电了 Oh. So you're all charged up!
什么 What?
我说你该充的地方都充完电了 I said you're all charged up.
是的，我手机 Yeah, my phone.
嗨，音乐真的响 Hey, the music is really loud.
你想找个地方聊聊吗 Do you want to go somewhere and talk?
恩，好的 - Uh, yeah. - Okay.
这是Zenotek公司 This is Zenotek.
该死 Oh, shit!
吉米巴特勒在那 That's Jimmy Butler right there!
谁是吉米巴特勒 Who's Jimmy Butler?
2此全明星，是我的梦之队中最佳选手 Two-time All-Star. Best player on my fantasy team.
去你的 巴特勒 Fuck you, Butler! (GASPS)
我不知道为什么说这个 该死 I don't know why I said that. Oh, fuck.
太棒了，知道吗 These are great. You know what?
能给我你的号码吗 Why don't you give me your number
我会发信息给你 and I'll text these to you.
抱歉，嗨 Excuse me. Hey. Hi.
吉米，这是乔希，嗨，你好吗 - Jimmy, hey, this is Josh. - Hey. How you doing?
你是这的大人物 So you the big man around here, huh?
我不是老板，我现在感觉就是个打杂的 I'm not that big, no. I'm feeling small right now.
看这个，对你有好处 Look at this. Good for you.
这是老板 Here's the big man!
吉米巴特勒，克莱 范思同 Jimmy Buckets. Clay Vanstone.
谢谢你来我们的派对 Thanks for coming to our Christmas party, man.
我正在尝试扩张 Of course. I've been trying to expand
吉米巴特勒商业帝国 the Jimmy Butler empire
在科技界的力量 into the tech space.
我在考虑推出吉米巴特勒APP I'm thinking Jimmy Butler dating app.
可能是巴特勒看书，我喜欢 - Maybe Butlerbook? - I like it.
吉米头像，都是些好想法 - Jimmyface? - These are all good ideas.
想看下我们制造的第一代处理器吗 Do you want to see the first processor that we ever made?
有迷你冰箱那么大 It's as big as a mini-fridge and it used to set fires.
和龙舌兰酒一起在楼上 It's upstairs with the good tequila.
当然 - Of course. - Casamigos.
我帮你留点酒 I'll save some for you.
他真的要进入科技界 Geek yourself out! He's really into technology.
你提醒我了，你怎么知道的 Will you remind me, how do you know
吉米巴特勒会来 Jimmy Butler again?
我说了我朋友是公牛对的公关 Remember, I told you my friend does P.R. for the Bulls?
是的 - Yes! Yeah. - Right.
我想带一个著名的篮球运动员来 I thought that bringing a famous basketball player
对我们有益 would help with Walter.
对的，你很喜欢是吗 - Ah. - You're cool with that, right?
为什么就我喜欢 Why wouldn't I be cool?
这是最好的想法 It's the greatest idea in the world.
当然我很喜欢 Of course I'm cool.
很喜欢 - Very cool. Please. - Okay.
好吧，我可是从很棒的大学 Yeah. Mr Cool. I graduated valedictorian
毕业的优秀学生 from Cool University!
哥伦比亚大学 Good old C.U.
恩 Mmm-hmm.
对的 Okay.
哥伦比亚 "C.U." Iater!
乔希 Oh, Josh.
萨凡纳 Savannah?
你的意思是贝嘉 对吗 I think you mean Becca, right?
恩 Uh...
老实说我以前从没做过这个 I'm gonna be honest, I've never done this before.
虽然我和我妈看过电影 Although my mum and I have watched
风月俏佳人 上百万次 Pretty Woman, Iike, a million times.
我喜欢那个电影，我做这就是受它影响 Oh, I love that movie! It's why I'm doing this.
是嘛 对的 - Oh, wow. - Yeah.
感觉有点恶心 It feels kind of dirty.
你觉得脏 You feel dirty?
你是我今晚第三个客户，这才9点 You're my third client tonight. It's only 9:00 PM.
真的 Oh, really?
你只要付钱给我经理就行了 So, um, you just have to pay my manager,
他们在那 and then we're, like, good.
好的 Oh, yeah, um...
Got it right here.
嗨，纳特 Hi. Nate.
纳特吗，是的 - Nate? - Yeah.
嗨，我是 特瑞娜 Hi, I'm Trina.
我不握手，也不拥抱，到这来 I don't do handshakes,I do hugs. Get in here!
你们今天晚上 Oh, my gosh, you guys are gonna have
一定有很多好玩的，我能感觉到 so much fun tonight.I can feel it.
你们已经是一对了 希望是 - You're already a couple. - Hope so.
已经是了 - Already.
是给我的吗，是的 - Is this for me? - Um, yes, ma'am.
上帝啊，看他已经都准备好了，我喜欢 Oh, my gosh. Look at him.Prepared. I love that.
我都不用点数 I'm not even gonna count it.
知道原因吗 - You know why? - Mmm-mmm.
因为我们是朋友对吗 是的 - 'Cause we're friends, right? - Yeah.
不对 我们他妈的才不是朋友 Yeah, we're not fucking friends.
上帝 Oh, my God.
如果你想和我 So if you're thinking of fucking with me,
或是我的女孩子刷花样 or with my girl,
我劝你千万不要想，因为我现在压力很多 don't. Because I'm hella stressed out right now.
这一周我经历的全是噩梦 This week has been a scheduling nightmare!
我的苹果日程管理应用奔溃了 My iCal crashed,
现在我所有的约会都被设定在2019年了 and now all my appointments are set in 2019.
And in Hebrew.
这是一个有缺陷的项目，我已经说了好多年了 It's a flawed program. I've been saying this for years.
闭嘴 - Shut up. - (WHIMPERS)
重点是 My point is,
如果有人惹恼了我，只要一个人 if one more person pisses me off... One more...
我不敢保证会发生什么 I don't know what's gonna happen.
我不知道会做什么 I don't know what I'm gonna do.
明白了吗 - We're clear?
祝你过的愉快 Okay, so now, um, just have a good time.
如果你要玩手铐游戏，记得备一把钥匙 If you use handcuffs,have a spare key, okay?
天啊，我们不希望再经历一次感恩节时的情形 ，Jesus, we do not want to go through Thanksgiving again.
我要是在待下去 Um, hey, if you need me in the next hour,
那我就是个十足的傻瓜了 I'll be at Whole Foods.
好的 Okay.
埃里克斯，快开车门 Alexei, open my fucking door!
我们去见你朋友 Come on. Let's go meet your friends.
我能自己进去 I can close it myself!
我是个现代女性 I'm a woman in 2016. Jesus.
克莱，来了，我刚收到消息 Okay, Clay, incoming. I just got a text from Carla.
沃特来了 Walter's on his way up. This is it.
当他进来时 Okay, okay. So we need an employee
需要一个员工坐在我腿上 to sit on my lap right when he comes up.
要一个看起愉悦的人 绝对不要杰瑞米 A cheerful one. Definitely not Jeremy.
不错的计划 Uh, sure, great plan.
好的，带上这个 Great. Good, good. Here. You try and get this on.
嗨，沃特 Hey, Walter!
欢迎来到Zenotek 你好吗 - Welcome to Zenotek. - How are you?
你来我很高兴 I'm so glad you came.
很高兴见到你，我帮你拿大衣 Good to see you. Can I take your coat?
不用了，我很好 你确定吗 - No, no, I'm good, actually. - You sure? Okay.
好的，你想从那里先开始 All right. Walt, what would you like to get started with?
我们有照相停 You know, we got a photo booth.
就像让你从个小房子拿照片那样 It's like getting your picture taken in a tiny house.
我们很喜欢 We love it.
吉米 巴特勒也在这 Oh, uh, Jimmy Butler is here!
是公牛那个吉米巴特勒 Jimmy Butler from the Bulls is here.
什么，他在那 What? Come on! Where is he?
你想和他合影吗，大家都喜欢这样做 Do you want to take a selfie with him? Everyone's doin' it.
我其实是骑士队的粉丝 You know, I'm a Cavs fan, actually.
哦，他们很棒 - Oh. - There's a good team.
这是个错误，放松下 - This was a mistake. - Hang on. Hang on.
不，拜托 No, no, no. Come on.
不要因为一颗树而放弃整片森林嘛 Now, a mistake would be to miss the salmon station.
你喜欢鲑鱼吗 Do you like salmon? Huh?
你想和我一起游泳去抓鲑鱼吗 You want to swim upstream with me and go try some salmon?
这是什么意思 What does that even mean?
你知道吗 让我们先喝点 You know what? Let's start with a drink. Come on.
你渴吗 克莱 想要和沃特一起喝酒吗 Yeah. Are you thirsty? Clay, you want a drink with Walter?
请给我个振动器 One vibrator, please.
好的，给你 - Okay. Here you go.
真正的身体按摩器，不是的，是个振动器 - It's really a body massager. - No, it's a vibrator.
嗨，乔希 - Hey, Josh!
嗨，杰瑞米，这是杰瑞米 Oh, hey, Jeremy. This is Jeremy,
我们客服经理 our customer service manager.
见到你很高兴，玛丽他妈的提到了我 Hi, nice to meet you. Mary just fucking cited me!
怎么了 我想这是个派对 Okay? I thought this was a party.
If I want to dick tap Alan, I'm gonna dick tap Alan.
这是个经典笑话 That's a timeless gag!
永不过时 你可以闪了 - Never not funny! - Okay, off you go.
她就是个该死的有毒气体 She is like a poisonous fucking cloud of shit gas,
只会到处破坏别人的欢乐时光 Iike, just seeping into everybody's good time.
他说的每个词都会让我的痔疮复发 Every word she says makes my fucking haemorrhoids throb!
我希望你可以记录在案，我会的 - I want that on the record. - It is.
他是客服部的 He's in customer service?
是的，打电话时表现很好 Yeah, he's much better on the phone.
那是他真正阳光的时候，走吧 That's really where he shines. Here we go.
有威士忌吗，麦卡伦对吗 Hey, can we get a scotch? Um, Macallan, right?
没有，那是蛋酒 Uh, no, dude. It's the eggnog luge.
只有蛋酒 很好 Oh. Just the eggnog. Okay. Great. Well...
看着不错，，女士优先 Uh, looks like fun. Ladies first.
乔希，我坚持你先来，好吧 我蛋酒喝的不多 - Josh, I insist. After you. - Well, I'm not much on eggnog.
不要听他的，他是欢乐先生 Don't listen to this guy. He's Mr Fun.
他会为派对做任何事情 加油 He'll do anything for the party. So, come on!
嗨，所有人，乔希要开始了 Hey, everybody! Josh is gonna do the luge!
我不觉得是这样，不适合我 No, no. I don't think so. It's not for me.
乔希 乔希 乔希 Josh! Josh! Josh! Josh!
看起来盛情难却 It looks like they want you to do it.
真的吗，那我来吧 Should I do it? I'll do it.
我来了 I'll do it, I'll do it. Okay, let's do it.
This the luge right here? Here we go.
开始 Here we go... Here we go...
恩 Mmm-hmm.
恩 Mmm.
上帝 Oh, God.
沃特，该你了 Whoo! Okay, Walter, your turn.
沃特去那了 Where'd Walter go?
我完全拍下了你的样子 I totally got you deep throating him.
好吧，看那个，太美妙了 Oh, well, look at that. That's beautiful.
沃特去哪了，克莱，看见沃特了吗 Where'd Walter go, huh? Clay, did you see Walter?
我不知道全部关于权力与游戏的事情 I don't know about that whole throne thing.
我的意思是没人喜欢那些礼物 I mean, nobody liked the gifts,
每个人都在抱怨 everybody was complaining and the lap-sitting got weird.
不好 Oh, no.
发生什么了 What's happening?
这不是工作 Well, it's just not working.
如果你拿走所有人酒 If you took away everybody's drinks
并且打开灯光 and turned up the lights,
看起来就像大家都在工作，你懂我意思的 it just looks like we're at work. You know what I mean?
我们需要刺激点东西 We need to get amped up.
要让他们互动起来 We need to get them interacting.
你们就像去年派对时一样做 You guys should do what you did at the party last year.
不要， No. Not doing that. Come on.
去年很蹩脚 No, that was lame.
不，那很棒，大家都爱 No, no, it was fucking awesome! People loved it!
不是的 It wasn't. And they didn't.
就当为了公司做行吗 Do it for the company. All right?
我要给沃特一个难忘的派对 I'm gonna go give Walter party mouth-to-mouth.
他在哭 Is he crying?
我要给你一本册子 I wanted to give you this pamphlet
上面有很多的关于解决 which has a lot of good information
悲哀的症状与表现的内容 about the signs and symptoms of sadness.
当我难过时 When I'm sad,
我会记起我祖母曾经说过的 I like to remember something my grandma used to sing.
是关于鸭子的 It's about ducklings.
玛丽，你穿过件蓝色大衣对吗 Mary, you wore a blue coat, right?
是 米色的，就是了 - No, I wore my beige poof. - Oh, that's it.
可能不是大事 It's probably not a big deal,
但我看见梅根在偷东西 but I saw Meghan rifling through all the pockets.
不行，我的优惠券 No, no, no, no. My Bath & Body Works coupons!
沃特，我是克莱 Walter. Clay Vanstone, remember?
嗨，你好 - Hey. - How are you?
我带你看下Zenotek 好的 - I want to show you Zenotek. - Ah. Yes.
你是个不错的舞者 You're a very expressive dancer.
谢谢 如果需要 thanks. Let me know if you want me
就告诉我，性感的舞或是其它的都行 to dance, like, sexy or something, you know?
好的 - Yeah. No, we're good. - Okay.
其实我想让有些人见识下 Uh, hey, there's actually some guys I want you to meet.
好的 Okay, great.
Let's just work out the money thing first, though, yeah?
我已经给了特瑞娜200美元可 Uh, I already gave Trina $200.
那只是第一个小时的费用 Oh, yeah, that's just for the first hour.
如果你今晚还要我陪 If you want me for the rest of the night,
得再付2000美元 it's gonna be another $2,000.
2000 ，没门 好吧 - Two grand? No. No way. - Yeah.
网上明码标价写着 The website clearly said
200美元一整晚 it was $200 for the whole night.
我看起来就值200一晚吗 Do I look like I'm $200 a night?
好吧，我会去ATM拿钱 Okay, fine. I'll go to an ATM, okay?
好的，给我手表做抵押 Okay. Give me your watch as collateral.
这是我祖母的 It's my grandmother's.
我不管 I don't care.
该死 Shit.
神啊 Holy shit.
羡慕嫉妒恨吧 That was just how daddy likes it.
恩 Mmm-hmm.
看着 Check it out.
消防员 - You're a fireman.
一定很高兴有一个日托中心工作吧 Must be really nice to have a day care centre at work.
是的 当我怀孕的时候克莱设立的 Yeah, yeah. Clay set this up when I was pregnant.
我想他是找个借口 I think he just wanted an excuse
可以在办公室玩游戏 to have Play-Doh in the office.
可以吗 可以 - Shall we? - Oh.
你是个好母亲 - You are such a good mum. - Aw.
谢谢 Thanks.
我打赌在外出去晚之前 I, uh, bet you'd make me finish all my homework
你会让我完成所有家庭作业 before I could go outside and play.
尤其是如果你是个淘气鬼的话 Yeah, especially if you were being naughty.
我要受罚吗 Do I need to be punished?
我猜我独立完成作业 Well, I guess that depends on your homework.
我打赌你会 I bet you'd make me
让我涮牙，这样我就不会有蛀牙了 brush my teeth so I don't get any cavities.
我们继续吗，好的 Oh, we're still doing this. Okay.
我是个坏孩子，妈妈 I've been a bad boy, Mummy.
你有什么奇怪的癖好吗 Okay, um, do you have some kind of weird fetish?
什么 没有 What? No!
对不起，我不是想 No, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to give you
给你那种印象 that impression.
我只是得意忘形了 - I just got carried away. - Oh.
我真的喜欢你 I just really like you.
我也是 Yeah. I really like you, too.
这是我婴儿时期的情形 Something's happening in my diaper.
去他妈的，我要走了 啊 - Okay. Fuck this. I got to go. - Huh?
这是我的恶梦 什么 - This is my nightmare. - What?
那么 我就在地狱 ，不 - So, yes, I'm in hell. - No, uh...
我要走了，妈妈 - So I'm gonna go. - Mummy!
不要走 艾莉森 I mean, Allison. Don't leave.
请你表现的像个正常人一样 Save that shit for the fourth date like a normal person!
对不起 Sorry.
好吧，纳特 这就是存钱的原因 All right, Nate, this is what you've been saving for.
谁设计的这个 Who designed this?
快点 - Come on!
该死的 Shit! Fuck me!
行了 Yes.
我很好，圣诞快乐 I'm okay! Merry Christmas!
准备好了 Okay. You ready?
你看着很可笑 Okay, you look ridiculous.
是因为帽子吗 Is it the hat?
大家圣诞快乐 Hey. Merry Christmas, everybody!
谁是最快乐的人 Who's happy about the holidays?
白痴们要买点可卡因吗 Hey, so, um, you dickheads want to buy some cocaine?
好的 Yeah! We'll do that.
我们需要可卡因 One cocaine. Want to do it with us?
耶 Yeah! Yeah!
我喜欢冒险 I believe in taking risks, Walter.
我的公司能承担风险 Zenotek, my company, believes in taking risks.
你知道今晚我们该做什么吗 You know what we should do tonight?
要做让自己都可不思议的事 We should do something that scares us.
让我们觉得自己还活着 Makes us feel alive!
你觉得可以 Do you think you could
swing across the dance floor with those lights?
那是什么 What's that?
Like, if you grabbed every single strand,
do you think that you could swing
and then time it just right and grab all of those strands,
then, like Tarzan, make it all the way to my office?
他妈的圣诞快乐 Merry fucking Christmas.
你知道吗 You know what?
这一切太棒了，我要谢谢你 This has been really great, and I thank you, but,
到时间该走了 - it's time to hit the road. -
你不能走 Oh. Um, you can't leave yet,
我们才开始 'cause we're just getting started!
你淋到雪了，太走运了 Hey! You got snow machined. That's meant to be lucky.
太苦了 It tastes bitter.
机器还在做准备工作，先帮你清理干净 It's just paper products. Let's get you cleaned up.
货不错，我们早上再 Great, great. So I guess we'll just take two
问你要两份 and call you in the morning, then?
不要找我 - Is that, uh... - Yeah, don't call me.
你在快照上吗 You on Snapchat?
我需要新鲜空气 I need some air.
我给你准备圣诞礼物了 Oh, also I have your Secret Santa.
好吧 Oh. Okay.
在干嘛 What are you doing?
惹毛玛丽 Pissing off Mary.
你怎么拼写 光明节 How do you spell "Hanukkah"?
等下，谁发的 Wait, who are you sending that to?
所有人都在芝加哥 Oh, you know, everyone in Chicago.
你从没上来过 You've never been up here?
没有 No.
我通常在这 This is where I usually am
参加性骚扰研讨会的 during the sexual harassment seminars.
太漂亮了 Oh, it's beautiful.
很冷 Oh, it's colder up here for sure.
而且 And it's, uh...
很高 Oh, man, it's higher.
我们去个低点 Maybe let's go... Let's go lower.
温暖的地方吧 And warmer. Come on.
不，这里从来不锁 - Uh-oh. - No. No, it never locks.
等下，不锁 Wait, no. It never locks!
我打赌你没有独自上来过 I bet you're also never up here
在晚上 对吗，是的 - at night, right? - No.
我准备好了 It's all right, I came prepared.
我也是 So did I.
你的圣诞老人 Your Secret Santa.
比我放的地方好 That's a lot better than where I'm keeping mine.
抱歉，范思同先生 Excuse me. Mr Vanstone?
你看过这个吗，我是 罗德尼 - Have you seen this? - Hi. I'm .
我们没见过，我是实习生 We haven't met yet. I'm an intern here.
我只想说圣诞快乐 I just wanted to say Merry Christmas.
你可以转正了，真的吗 - Yes, you can have a job. - Are you serious?
是的，漂亮的头发，初级合伙人，恭喜 Yeah, party hire. Junior associate. Congrats.
上帝啊，谢谢 Oh, my God. Mr Vanstone, thank you!
谢谢，非常感谢 - Thank you. - Thank you so much.
上帝，嗨，罗德尼 - Oh, my God. Yes? - Hey, Rodney!
我们会给你取个新名字 We're gonna get you a new name.
没问题 我会告诉我父母的 Done! I'll call my parents.
耶 Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
还好吗 Hey. You okay?
我今天过的很糟 Ha! I was down. I was having a bad day.
但是现在我很高兴 But now I'm lifting.
我的心灵看见一些事情 I'm seeing things. My mind.
我的脑子充满灵感 The ideas are flying through my mind!
我感觉到强大，很好 - I'm feeling strong. - Okay, good.
击掌 - High five. Ha! - Sure.
你永远不能打垮沃特 戴维斯 You can't keep Walter Davis down forever, baby!
再去搞点 Let's go get fucked up.
但不要太多 Okay, but not too much.
我一喝酒就有坏事发生 When I drink, a lot of bad things happen.
比如我姐姐的马不见了 You know, my sister's horse goes missing.
需要指出的是 My car is covered in horse hair and blood.
我的车上满是马毛和血 Fingers get pointed.
吸食迷幻药，在海滩放火 Smoke PCP as a favour. Beach burns down.
那从不是我的问题 That ain't never been my problem.
快点，接着喝 Come on! Let's go get a drink! Yeah!
该死 - Oh, shit!
我们期待在接下去的12到24 We're expecting blizzard conditions
小时里暴风雪能好转 for 12 to 24 hours...
让我上飞机 Just get me on a plane.
随便给我架该死的飞机，行吗 Get me on any goddamn plane, all right?
我还有很远的距离要走 I have enough miles to orbit the sun.
抱歉，夫人，所有航班都停飞了 I'm sorry, ma'am. All flights are grounded
知道积雪被清扫 until the snow clears.
我无能为力 There's nothing more I can do.
好吧，给我找个能解决的人来 Well, refer me to someone who can do something.
那只有上帝了 夫人 That would be God, ma'am.
哦，是她 Oh, Her.
假日愉快 Have a great holiday.
该死 Shit.
你吃了我的肉桂卷 Did you eat my Cinnabon?
没有 No.
你母亲在哪 Where's your mother?
洗手间 Bathroom.
你叫什么 达西 - What's your name, sweetie? - Darcy.
哦 Oh.
嗨，圣诞老人 Hi, Santa.
我是卡罗尔，我和达西在一起 Yes, Carol Vanstone. I'm here with Darcy.
我知道，难听的名字 I know. Terrible name.
她坐在头等舱休息室里 And she's being a little shit here
就像个小脏鬼 in the first class lounge.
所以我想我们应该 So I think we should cancel
取消她今年所有的圣诞礼物 all of her Christmas presents this year.
在她睡觉的时候 Yeah. And while she's asleep,
拿走她的洋娃娃 why don't you take that doll, too.
太好了，再见 Great. Bye.
请大家注意 May l have your attention, please.
所有航班被取消 Due to inclement weather, all flights have been cancelled.
该死 Shit!
去你的 Fuck you!
你们现在快乐吗 Zenotek, you having a good time now?
大家准备好了吗 You ready to kick this up a notch, huh?
卡尔维斯 Hit me with the horns, Calvis!
旧学校 Old school.
动静大点 Make some noise!
耶 Yeah!
来了 # Here we go now!
这是你们去过的 Is this not the best fucking party
最棒的派对吗 y'all been to? Come on down!
开始吧 # Here we go now! Here we go now!
开始吧 让我清清嗓子 # Here we go, here we go! Let me clear my throat
上来 Yeah, get on up here.
为了沃特，我的小家伙，沃特 Give it up for Walter! My main man, Walter!
该死的 Goddamn!
上来，玛丽 Get on up here, Mary!
给我牛奶， Give me the mike. No, no, no. Give me the mike.
为了玛丽 - Give it up for Mary! - No, no.
玛丽，所有人 - Mary, everybody, yeah!
你应该停止了 You got to stop.
当我说H，你说R # When l say H, you say R
人力资源 - # H.R.! H.R.!
当我说H，你说R # When l say H, you say R
人力资源 - # H.R.! H.R.! -
当她说H 你说R # And when she says H, you say R
人力资源 - # H.R.! H.R.!
耶 Yeah!
# lf y'all want to party like we do
# lf y'all want to party like us
# Let me hear you say, "Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!"
# lf y'all want to party like we do
# lf y'all want to party like us
# Let me hear you say, "Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!"
就是这样的 Okay, that's part of it. Yeah!
是她让这间公司伟大 She's what makes this company great,
就和你们他妈的所有人一样 just like every motherfucker in here!
# When l say freeze, y'all freeze one time
# Freeze!
# Now let me clear my throat
# Special dedication going out to all the ladies
# And all the brothers in here!
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
太好玩了是吗 This is fun, right?
这是从迷人 This has turned
到危及生命的转变 from charming into life-threatening.
我不能相信还是没反应 I cannot believe that they are still not responding.
至少我的死会给我 At least my death will give my parents
父母留下点饭后谈论的话题 something to talk about at the meal I'm gonna miss.
你圣诞去父母家，每年都去 - Going to your parents' place? - Every year.
我虽然没有家庭 This is where not having any family actually pays off.
但是我有整座城市 I get the whole city to myself.
就像某种可怕的瘟疫来了 It's like some kind of awesome plague came in
最后只剩我和中餐馆and spared only me and the Chinese restaurants.
不起作用 This is useless.
你准备做剩女 - You gonna be solo, huh?
吉米巴特勒没在你 There's not gonna be a stocking on your mantel
家住过吗 for Jimmy Butler at your place?
你想干嘛，没什么 - What are you doing? - Nothing?
只是问问 Just asking. You know?
你可以约我 You could have dated me, Josh.
但是你却吓破胆了 But you freaked out and ran away.
我还是有婚姻失败后的应激障碍 I still had PTSD from my marriage just ending, so...
你们已经分居一年了 You'd been separated for a year.
我搞砸了 是的 - I fucked up. - Yeah.
因为你是笨蛋 Because you're an idiot.
对不起 I'm sorry.
我对此感到抱歉 I have been feeling shitty about it.
我们本应该早就这样做 We should've done this a long time ago.
是的，对吗 - Yeah. - Right?
嗨，杰瑞米 - Hey, Jeremy. - Huh?
嗨 Hey!
嗨，什么情况 - Hey, man. - What's up, guys?
好事情， Wow. Good thing I wasn't going number two, huh?
你慢慢尿吧 Yeah. Leave you to it.
这是我的地盘，好的 - This is my territory! Got it. That's clear.
)
They can't shut us down!
We're never gonna get shut down!
# When l say Zeno, you say Tek
- # Zeno-Tek! Zeno-Tek! -
# When l say Zeno, you say Tek
- # Zeno-Tek! Zeno-Tek!
这就是圣诞奇迹 It's a Christmas miracle.
# When l say Zeno, you say Tek
- # Zeno-Tek! Zeno-Tek!
# When l say Zeno, you say Tek
- # Zeno-Tek! Zeno-Tek! #
我爱这派对 I love this party!
我爱这家公司 I love this company!
我希望和大家一起工作 And I want to work with you people!
他刚说什么饿了，克莱搞定沃特了 What did he just say? Did Clay just close Walter?
他是真正的圣诞老人 Huh, he really is Santa Claus.
耶 - Yeah!
卡罗尔 你知道吗 So, Carol. You know,
那也是我祖母的名字 - that's my grandmother's name. - Mmm.
我不知道， - No, I did not know that. - Yeah.
哦 Oh.
过去这个名字很流行，你真的不知道吗 It's kind of an old-timey name. Don't really hear
太多卡罗尔 Carol much anymore.
就像 嗨，我是卡罗尔 It's like... (IMITATING ELDERLY WOMAN) "Hi, I'm Carol.
我在回家之前错过了我的故事 "I gotta get home before I miss my stories."
嗨，我是卡罗尔，我在电台上听见了珍珠港事件 "Hi, I'm Carol. I heard about Pearl Harbor on the radio."
嗨，我是卡罗尔，我在开始时就死了 "Hi, I'm Carol. I died in the beginning of Up."
你看过那电影吗 That movie?
对不起，我有点紧张 Sorry, I'm just nervous.
我今晚第一天工作 My first night on the job. On the ol' J.O.B.
你是第一次 是的 - It's your first night? - Yeah.
开车吗 Driving?
是在优步开车的第一晚 First night driving the ol' Ubes.
这个工作很自由 It's a pretty sweet gig, though. Make my own hours.
如果你愿意做优步司机 You know, I could hook you up
我可以和你一起换班开的 if you want to be an Uber driver.
我有工作的，谢谢你的好意 I'm good. I already have a job. Thank you very much.
是嘛，但是优步能你让你体会到自己做老板的感觉 Yeah, but you could be CEO of your own car!
我已经是老板了 I am a CEO.
你是优步老板 Of Uber?
上帝啊，这是拍卧底老板节目吗 Oh, my God. Is this Undercover Boss?
那是摄像头吗 Is that a camera?
我上电视了，你穿的是伪装吗 Am I on ca... Are you wearing a disguise?
没有，这不是卧底老板节目 No. This is not Undercover Boss.
我不是优步的老板 I am not the CEO of Uber.
我是Zenotek公司的老板，请你专心开车 I am the CEO of Zenotek. Please just drive.
真巧，我刚放下几个人去哪 No shit. I just dropped off,
四个去那参加今晚派对的人 Iike, four people at that party tonight.
你说什么 I'm sorry?
他们只给了我三颗星的评价 They gave me three stars Iike a bunch of bitches.
对不起，你刚才说什么 Excuse me. What did you just say?
我说他们是婊子，不是这个 是开什么派对 - I said they were bitches. - No, no. What party?
在你公司的派对，大家都喜欢 The party at your office. Everybody's like, "Oooh."
克莱，你个混蛋，对的 都是婊子 - You son of a bitch, Clay. - Yeah, bunch of bitches!
你能 Can you just...
-能开车了吗 闪开 Can you move? Move!
看英国乐队演出，是视觉享受 The English band, the Optic Monkeys?
你应该与你的朋友林德赛去看的 You were supposed to see them with your friend Lindsey,
但你好像说，我不能去 you were like, "I can't go,"
因为你请不起保姆 because you couldn't get a babysitter?
你黑了我电邮吗 Did you hack into my emails?
滚开 Get the fuck out of here.
永远不要再说那种英国口音 And never use that British accent again.
艾莉森，你还好吗 Allison, are you okay?
一点都不好 No! I'm not okay.
我的前夫在和脱衣舞女约会 My ex-husband is dating a stripper,
德鲁在网上跟踪我 Drew is cyberstalking me,
那个会计部的佛雷德 and Fred from accounting
就像个该死的人体安珀警报器 is like a human fucking AMBER Alert.
我怎么就找不到一个好点的约会对象 Don't I deserve to date someone who is nice?
你当然可以 Of course you do.
艾莉森，你很棒 Allison, you're an amazing person.
整个办公室基本上都是你在关心 You basically take care of this whole office.
而且你每天如此 And you do it every day,
虽然大多数人都没有注意到这点 even though most people don't seem to notice.
所以 - So, yeah,
你应该能找到个好人 you deserve someone nice.
宝贝 Baby,
我收到你信息了，我想你了 I got your text. Ooh, I missed you.
跳舞吧 Come on, let's dance.
别放弃 Just hang in there.
罗德尼 Go, Rodney! Go, Rodney!
纳特 Nate!
嗨，拉瑞Hey, man. Larry from shipping here
他有件很棒的 actually has a really great story
的事情要告诉你 that he wants to tell you.
我刚才在洗手间洗脸 I was in the bathroom washing my face,
这个女的走进来 and this girl came in, like,
说，给我40美元我帮你打飞机 "I'll give you a handy for $40."
接下去你懂的 And the next thing I knew,
我的小弟弟就在她的手里了 my penis was in her hand and then she starts...
好了，拉瑞，我知道飞机是怎么打的 Okay, Larry, I know how a hand job works.
我想不通你们怎么会在一起的 I had no idea you guys were together.
等下，你说什么 Wait, what are you talking about?
贝嘉帮拉瑞在男厕所打飞机 So Becca gave Larry a hand job in the men's room.
该死的 Goddamn it!
下一个是我 Ooh, ooh! I'm going next.
我受启发了，下个是我 inspired! I'm going next.
已经叫到我了 等下 - No, I called it. I called it. - No, no, wait.
真为你高兴，该死 - I'm so happy for you! -Oh, shit.
我的蛋蛋怎么印啊 I was about to do my balls!
3D打印怎么样 Hey! What about the 3D printer?
太好了 - Yes. Yes! - Yeah?
我要第一个来 I'm going first, I'm going first!
打扰下 Excuse me. Excuse me!
打扰下 Excuse me.
如果要保住你的工作就举手 Raise your hands if you're keeping your jobs!
要奖金就举手 Raise your hands if you're gonna get a bonus!
对不起 Excuse me.
克莱 Clay?
克莱 Clay!
他妈的 Oh, fuck.
嗨，姐姐 Hey, sis.
嗨 Hey, hey, hey.
卡罗尔，先听我说再发飙 Carol, before you get mad,Iisten to what I did.
我说了不要办派对 I said no party!
这就是我的要求，而你却当做了耳边风 That's all I said. All you had to do was nothing,
你不应该这样做 and you couldn't even do that! Couldn't even do that!
卡罗尔 Carol, Carol, Carol!
这不是你想象的那样 This is not what you think, okay?
这是有原因的 This is all for a reason.
听着 我们举办派对 Listen. We threw this party for Walter Davis,
是为了能拉近与他的关系，为了他的订单 and we closed him, he wants to give us his business.
我们做到了，看见吗 - We did it. - CLAY: See?
我不是失败者，我是个好老板，派对起作用了 I'm not a failure. I'm a good boss. The party worked!
沃特 戴维斯 是的 - Walter Davis? - Yeah.
他在现场吗，是的 - Is at this party? That's right.
在那 Where is he?
我不知道，他在那里 刚才还在舞台上 I don't know. Where was he? He was just on the stage.
伙计们 Oh... Guys? Guys!
情况不好 That's not good.
开始了 Here we go!
来吧 Do it! Do it! Do it!
不要 No, no, no. Shh!
你在干嘛 那是我的主意 - What are you doing? - Hey, that was my idea.
不相关的 沃特，嗨 伙计 - Not relevant. - Walter? Hey, buddy!
你为什么不从楼梯上下来 Why don't you come down using the stairs?
不要，克莱，就像你说的 No. Clay, it's like you said!
我要超越自己 I want to do something that scares me. To feel
证明我还活着 alive!
或许现在时机不对 Maybe not right now.
你们对他做了什么 What did you guys do to him?
放开那些灯条，伙计 Let go of those lines, buddy!
我是IT收购之王 I'm the king of I.T. buyers!
喔 Whoo!
哦，该死 - Oh! - Shit!
哦 Oh!
上帝 Oh, God.
就差一点 So close.
嗨，沃特 Hey, Walter.
你就像雄鹰飞翔 You were like an eagle up there.
你成功了 You were free. You did it.
我们赢了吗 Did we win?
是的 Yeah, we won.
Zenotek! Zenotek!
可伶的人 That poor guy.
他今天真够到霉的 What a day he's had.
先是被解雇了，现在又受伤了 First he gets fired and now this.
等下，你说被解雇 - Wait, what? - Did you say fired?
是的 Oh, yeah.
他是今天才收到解雇通知的 Oh, he got fired at the close of business today.
他两小时前告诉我的 He told me, like, two hours ago.
他们关闭了他的整个海外分支 They shipped his whole branch overseas.
什么 What?
我已经在脸书上人力资源群里确认过了 I confirmed it with my H.R. Facebook group.
他们知道一切 And they know everything.
澄清一下,因为我注重细节 Excuse me. Just to clarify, because I'm detail-oriented.
所以你目前还没有拿到沃特的合同 So you didn't get a contract with Walter Davis
因为他已经失业了 because he didn't have a contract to give.
卡罗尔，在你发飙之前，有个事说下 Carol, before you get mad, here's the thing...
他想和我们一起工作 He wanted to work with us.
所有，克莱 - So... - Clay. Clay!
怎么 Yeah?
我没有疯 I'm not mad.
你没有吗 You're not?
我是说你花了六年时间才能从大学毕业拿到学位 I mean, I was mad when Dad gave you this branch
而爸爸却把这间公司 just as a reward for taking six years
当作奖励给了你时我就已经疯了 to graduate with a degree in... What is it?
现在这件事没有让我发狂 But this doesn't make me mad.
因为我现在如释重负，好吧 - I feel relieved. - All right.
因为都结束了 - Because it's over.
我要关闭这里 不，时间太晚了 - I'm shutting you down. - Yeah, no, because it's late.
艾莉森已经找 Allison got a clean-up crew
了清理人员明天来打扫 - for tomorrow. - Uh-huh.
不对 克莱，我是要彻底终结这间分公司 No, Clay. I'm terminating this branch.
我真够白痴的，我才刚开始喜欢这个地方 I'm such a dickhead. I started to like this place,
我刚做过 刚做了 and then I get fucked. I get fucked!
别这样，停下，卡罗尔，让我们明确下 No, no, no. Stop it, stop it. Carol, let's take one beat.
听着，卡罗尔 Look, look, Carol. Carol.
我搞砸了，就怪我一个人吧 I fucked up, okay, so blame me.
其它人是无辜的 But these are good people.
你不能关了它，这是爸爸的分公司 You can't close this branch. This is Dad's branch.
你知道吗，他实在 Well, you know what? He shouldn't have
不应该给你这间公司去瞎搞 given it to you to fuck up.
祝你好运，当你要亲自解雇 Oh, and, uh, good luck trying to be Mr Fun Guy
这里的所有人时，那时你还能乐得出来吗 when you have to fire all these people.
喔 Whoo!
我们在纽约见 I'll see you in New York.
什么情况 Wait, what?
你的发小没告诉你吗 Did your little friend not tell you?
他要来为我工作了 He's coming to work for me.
是的 Yeah, right.
我没有说来 I never said yes to that job.
那你也没说不来 I don't recall you ever saying no.
克莱 Clay.
克莱 我没有答应 Clay, I never sa... Hey.
克莱 Clay.
嗨，克莱 你告诉我只能让你喝两杯 Oh, hey, Clay... You told me you had a two-drink limit.
没错 Yeah. You're right.
你们还没忘了我DJ克莱维斯吧 Now, y'all didn't forget about DJ Calvis!
喔 - Whoo!
我要回派对去 I want to go back to the party!
喔 Whoo!
搞什么鬼 Hey! What the hell?
我雇你装我女朋友 I hired you to pretend to be my girlfriend,
你却给我所有同事打飞机 then you go and give all my co-workers hand jobs?
你雇我是为了让你的同事印象深刻 You hired me to impress your co-workers,
现在目地达到了 and he was pretty impressed.
我要拿回我的钱 好吧 - Listen, I want my money back. - Well...
那是什么 I'm sorry, what was that?
朝着我的枪再说一遍 I couldn't hear you over my gun.
我要拿回我的钱 - I, um, I want my money back. - Oh.
抱歉，现在客户服务不可用 I'm sorry. Customer services are not available right now,
但或许我能帮你申诉冤情 but perhaps I can address your grievance.
都很好，没问题了 Um, everything's fine.
你能大声点说5这个数吗 Would you say like a five on Yelp,
或者是3 or like positive three?
五 Five.
是五吗，艾利克斯 Five? Alexei!
恩 Uh...
会很有趣的 This is so funny.
把屎丢在他脸上 Do that thing where you pull his asshole through his face.
请别这样 Don't please. Shit!
圣诞老人今晚没显灵 Santa's gonna get fucked up tonight!
谁想和圣诞老人一起开派对 Who wants to party with Santa?
那他妈是谁 Who the fuck is that?
你知道吗这家伙是个有钱人 You know what, that guy is really rich.
而且他是真心傻 And he's really stupid.
那我们还在这玩什么拼字游戏 Well, then what are we doing with Spelling Bee here?
快去找他 Get outta here. Go!
嗨，圣诞老人，想要派对吗 Hey, Santa! Wanna party?
想 Yeah.
特雷西 Tracey! Tracey! Hey.
特雷西 Tracey!
嗨 Hey!
特雷西 Tracey?
特雷西，你在吗 Tracey, are you in here?
哦，对不起 Oh, pardon me.
哈喽 Hello?
哦 Oh.
真实现了 Josh, it's happening.
很好 Good for you.
嗨，特雷西你在那间 Hey, Tracey, which one are you in?
凯罗尔给我一份工作，但是她没有说 Hi. Carol offered me a job, but in no way did I say...
我明白的 Josh. I get it.
她也给了我 She offered me a job, too.
什么，她提供给你工作了，是的 - What? She offered you a job? - Yeah.
三倍工资 Triple the salary.
和一间能环顾中央公园的公寓 An apartment overlooking Central Park.
我是双倍工资还有搬迁费 I got double and moving costs.
不同的是我直接回绝了她 The real difference is I said no.
我不是想和你争这个 Listen, I'm not fighting with you about this.
这很蠢，我没有接受工作 It's silly. I didn't take the job.
但是你也没有直接回绝她 Yeah. But you didn't not take it, either.
因为你喜欢安全的环境，你就是这样的人 Because you need a safety net. Hey, that's who you are.
我为你高兴，你应该去纽约 I'm happy for you. You should go to New York.
你是这样想的吗，让我去纽约 Is that what you want? You want me to go to New York?
男洗手间正在上演 There's a real human centipede situation
人体蜈蚣 happening in the men's room.
特雷西，别走 Tracey, please. Don't go.
差不多整个市场部的都在这 Whoa, this is almost the whole marketing department in here.
我能喝一杯吗，乔希 - Can I get a drink? - Josh, Josh.
乔希，克莱在哪 Josh, where's Clay?
这家伙把大家的工作都搞丢就逃了 Asswipe loses everybody their jobs and runs.
这个派对他花了多少钱 How much did he spend on this party?
他本可以把这钱给我们的 He could have just given that money to us.
克莱太差劲 Clay sucks.
我们应该杀了他，就像播客上放的那样 We should just kill him, Iike on that podcast.
把红牛放下 Put the Red Bull down.
请你们尊敬些，一群混蛋 Respectfully, fuck you guys!
对不起，你们说了他太多坏话 Sorry, that was too much, but...
克莱比我见到过的 Clay cares more about people
任何人都有爱心 than anyone I've ever met.
他准备今晚给大家发奖金的 He was gonna pay your bonuses tonight
是用他自己最后的积蓄 with the last of his money.
什么 What?
他破产了 Yeah, he's broke. Clay is broke.
你们觉得会计部里 Who do you think paid
的欢乐屋是谁付的钱 for that bouncy house in accounting?
是谁训练狗来投递邮件 Training that dog to deliver the mail?
还有高空索降 周五的甜甜圈日 The zip-Iine? Doughnut Fridays?
都是克莱 It was all Clay!
他花了他所有的钱 He spent all of his money
来保住这间摇摇欲坠的公司 trying to keep this branch afloat.
无论何时我有问题找他，他从没有回绝过我 And whenever I questioned him about it, he would say,
对待员工要像家里人一样 "Treat your employees Iike they're your family
他们也会为了你而付出一起 "and they'll do great things for you."
伙计们，克莱只是和贝嘉 You guys, Clay just left to get drugs
和她的皮条客一起买醉去了 with Becca and her pimp.
等下，谁是贝嘉 Wait... Who's Becca?
纳特的妓女，嗨 那是她的女朋友 - Nate's whore. - Hey, that's his girlfriend!
不对 Nope, she's right.
贝嘉是卖淫女 Becca's a prostitute.
很好 Oh, nice.
不 Oh. Nope.
克莱和皮条客一起去买醉了 Clay left to go get drugs with a pimp?
是的，她还有钱，而且这人的情绪严重不稳定 Yes. She has a gun and a serious mood imbalance.
该死，卡罗尔 Fuck. Carol!
出问题了 We have a problem.
你本就有很多问题 Yeah, you have Iots of problems. Good luck.
卡罗尔，对不起 Carol, excuse me.
听着 Carol! Listen.
克莱胸口帮着30万美金和 Clay has gone to get wasted with a psychopath,
一个神经病一起出去花天酒地了 and he's got $300,000 strapped to his chest.
听起来蛮严重的 Ooh, that really does sound Iike a big problem...
对于克莱来说 For Clay.
你已经失去了父亲 You already lost your dad.
如果克莱也不在了，你就成孤家寡人了 If you lose Clay, you'll have no one.
相信我，你不是真想到那一步 Trust me, that's not a place you want to be.
我不在乎，什么 - I don't care. - What?
这个女士，她心里不健康吗 - Oh, boy. This woman... - What is wrong with her?
你玩真的 Really?
我不知道该怎么做 Guys! I don't know what to do.
克莱不接电话 Clay's not picking up his phone.
我想可以定位他 I think I can locate him.
我感觉太好了 This is so amazing to me, guys.
我们其实可以能更紧密的连接一起 We can actually connect with, you know.
出发吧 Yeah. Yeah. There we go.
真棒，必须的 - Amazing. - Absolutely.
一群垃圾，快出去，这不是你们的淫乱场所 They're full of shit, okay? They're not your soulmates.
他们刚黑了你们的脸书 They just hacked your Facebook.
胡说，真不可思议 - That's horseshit! - Unbelievable. So uncool.
等下，不要这样，姑娘们 - Hey, wait! - No, no, no, girls!
我知道你不喜欢电视剧 吉尔莫女孩 I knew you didn't like the Gilmore Girls.
好了，我需要你们都坐下 Okay, I'm gonna need both of you assclowns
黑了克莱的手机好让我们能找到他 to hack into Clay's phone so we can find him.
拜托，为什么我们要帮你做这个 Come on, why would we help you, dude, seriously?
为什么我们要帮你做这个 Yeah, why would we help you?
因为我是你们的头，你们要听我的 Because I'm your fucking boss, and I'm telling you to.
他不能动手的，我允许的 - He can't touch him! - I'll allow it.
有车着火了，灰熊赢球了吗 Ooh, there's a car on fire. Did the Bears win?
你在看什么 What are you looking at?
抱歉，上帝 Excuse me. Excuse me. Oh, Jesus.
嗨，如果人人都被解雇 Hey, if everybody's fired,
我们大家拆了这地方吧 Iet's burn this place to the ground, baby!
嗨，你是那个部门的 Hey! Hey, what department are you in?
我不是这的员工 I don't work here.
我们开始吧，谁和我一起 Let's do this, baby! Who's with me?
他妈的 - Fuck.
如果我告诉你后退 If I tell y'all one more time to back up,
那就说明情况很严重，我不是开玩笑的 it's gonna be a problem. I'm not playing with y'all!
卡拉，我需要你上楼 Carla! Carla! I need you to go upstairs
结束派对 我们要去帮克莱 and lock this shit down. We gotta go help Clay.
等下 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, fuck that!
第一个进入大楼的警卫，这不是虎胆龙威的情节嘛 The security guard was the first one to go in Die Hard.
卡拉，你不是一直在等这样的机会嘛 Carla, this is the one you knew would come.
做我们的约翰 麦考利 Be our John McClane.
收到 I'm on it.
嗨 Hey.
以防万一 In case it gets dark.
谁想尝下我的厉害 Who wants to get tased?
你车在那 Okay, where's your car?
我做出租来的，只能开你车了 I took a cab. I thought we were gonna take your car.
我也没开 No, I took the EI.
去找我们的圣诞老人吧 Let's go get our Santa.
太棒了 - Great! - Oh.
快点，不是这样，先提起来再拉 Come on! No, don't. It's a lift and pull.
你是在摇它，上帝啊，我来吧 You're jerking it! Jesus Christ, let me do it.
我来拉吧 - I'm pulling out. - Oh!
对了 是锁住了 All right. Yeah, it's... It's locked.
谢谢 Thanks.
进来 - Get in. Come on.
你座位上都是什么 What'd you get all over your seats?
是鹦鹉的东西 Oh, no, it's from the parrots.
放松，不是便便，是 Relax, it's not poop. It's some...
是生殖分泌物，现在是交配季节 It's genital secretions. It's mating season.
哦，应该干了 - Oh. - Should be dry.
纳特说克莱在南边 Okay. Nate says Clay's on the South Side.
他吓不住我的 He is not gonna fuck this up for me.
董事会投我票的 The board will vote me CEO.
让我先去找他吧 That is happening. So let's just do this, okay?
这是雪地模式吗 拜托，这是起亚 - Can this thing handle snow? - Oh, please. It's a Kia.
那是上帝才能开的车 It's what God would drive.
哦 Oh!
我之前告诉大家的 Guys, you know, the thing is, I told everybody
他们会保住工作的，但是现在什么都没了 they were gonna be okay, but then they weren't.
我的承诺失败了 And so, I broke a Christmas promise, which...
这基本是最糟糕的事 Is basically the worst thing you can do.
我意思做老板压力山大 I mean, it is so stressful being the boss.
没人曾经告诉过我 Nobody ever talks about that.
根本没有 No. No, not at all.
如果你想抱怨 And if you want to complain about it,
人人都会说，有钱人又在装B了 everybody's like, "Oh, boo-hoo you, rich Santa."
没人在乎 Yeah, no one gives a shit!
我也不能告诉别人 I can't call people up and be like,
我今天的生意也非常糟 "Oh! I'm having a bad pimp day."
你真懂我 See, you understand.
我有个客户每天凌晨3点找我 从不间断 I get clients calling me 24/7. Middle of the night, 3:00 AM:
带货来 Brring, brring, brring!
，就像昨天，他说 嗨，我要找人爆菊 "Hey, I need anal, Iike yesterday."
对啊，我深有同感 Yeah, the same with me!
除了爆菊这部分，我是数据存储 Except instead of anal, it's data storage.
或者是像我住持家庭教士协会一样 Or, "I'm, like, chairing a PTA meeting.
你有人能为我在健生馆口交的吗 "Can you have someone blow me in the gymnasium?"
绝对的，没有结束的时候 Yeah, absolutely. It never ends.
或者像，嗨 你的姑娘刺伤了我的腿 Or, like, "Hey, your girl just stabbed me in the leg
我现在血流满地 "and now I'm bleeding out in the alleyway."
我非常不认同 I don't relate to that as much.
这不是神经病吗 有多少人依靠你 It's mental, right? How much people lean on you?
我姐姐想我做个失败者 And my sister wanted me to be a failure,
我也曾经是，她不信我能改变 and I was, so she's not gonna let that go.
虽然这是家庭教育的问题 That's the problem of working with family, though.
对的，但是你绝不能逃避 - Yeah. - You can never escape them.
你绝不能逃避 You can never escape them.
但你知道吗，你会没事的 But you know what, you're gonna be fine, man.
知道为什么吗 You know why?
因为你有钱，宝贝 'Cause you've got all that money, honey.
是的，其实 Yeah, that's the thing. I don't, actually.
我把钱都花在保住公司的身上了 I spent it all trying to keep the branch open.
我全部家当只有30万现金了 All I have left is just $300,000 cash.
你有30万 You have 300 grand.
我的天，每当我的账户没钱时 Oh, my gosh. Whenever I'm that low in my account,
我就像是要死了一样的痛苦 I'm just like, "Kill me."
钱在那 Uh, so where is the money?
在我身上，很安全，在你私人保险箱 - It's on my person. It's safe. - It's in your personal safe?
我们快到了，不，这是 Okay, we're close. No, no, this is it! This is...
那是体育场，左边，你开过了 There's a spot! Right there. You passed it!
小心，慢点 Careful. Easy.
哦 Oh!
旅行车就是这么停的 That's how you park a minivan.
让人印象深刻 Jeez! - Very impressive.
纳特，你确定是这个地址吗 Okay, Nate, are you sure about this address here?
是的 联合大街 92765号 Yes. 92765 Union Street.
定位就显示这 红场俱乐部 That's where the pin is. Uh, Red Square Club.
布莱恩，我看见你在我桌子上做爱 Brian, I can see you fucking on my desk!
我去看下情况 好的 - I'll go see what's going on. - Okay.
就这了 This is it.
上帝啊 Oh, my God.
或许他是活该，谁知道那 Well, maybe he deserved it. Who knows?
开始吧，快点 Here we go, guys. Come on.
快点 我不确定里面发生了什么 Quickly? Because I don't know what's gonna happen in there.
去年有一个针对我的 Last year I filed a sexual harassment complaint
性骚扰的投诉案底 against myself.
对你的 - Against yourself. - Mmm-hmm.
是安德鲁，在复印间，他正在换色粉 Andrew, in the copy room, he was changing the toner.
我假装掉个东西在地上 And I pretended to drop something on the ground
这样我可以弯腰 so that I could bend over
用鼻子摩擦到他的屁股 and graze his butt with my nose.
我这样做了 And I did.
看起没那么糟糕，然后他说 - That doesn't seem that bad. - And then I said,
如果你不和我做爱，那么我会毁了你 "If you don't fuck me, buster, I will ruin you."
那是骚扰 Hmm. That's harassment.
他是为这辞职的 That's why he quit.
你看起来不像受刺激的样子，开始吧 You seem like you feel better. Here we go.
等下，伙计们 Wait! No, guys,
我们不能这样走进去 we can't go in there looking like this.
嗨，卡罗尔 Hey, Carol?
把你的大衣给我 Why don't you give me your coat?
我们今晚怎么样，私人派对 只有少数人参加 - How we doing tonight? - Private party. Members only.
我是个企业家 Well, I'm a businessman.
这些是我今晚的 These are my business ladies
商业女郎 你听见我对你说的了吗 of the night. You hear what I'm saying to you?
他们只有晚上出来 They only come out at night.
对的，大部分都是为派对准备的 - Okay. Okay. - Mostly for parties.
太漂亮了 It's a beautiful Ianguage.
好样的，卡罗尔 - Nice, Carol.
环境看着 Seems like an appropriate setting
适合情绪低落者 for an emotional rock bottom.
后面那间 Oh, there's a back room.
嗨 Hi.
你好吗，你看见过一个穿圣诞装的人吗 How you doing? Have you seen a guy in a Santa suit?
去你的，我不会告诉你如何事的 Fuck you. I don't tell you anything.
好吧，听着 - All right, now listen here. - Nuh-uh-uh.
嗨，我再问你一次，在哪 Hi. Me again. Where's Santa?
去你的 Fuck you.
你不希望自己死在这双手下吧 You do not want to die at the hands of Lululemon here.
真让人难堪，你可是个壮汉 It'd be real embarrassing. You're a large guy,
她这双手除了做色拉和开车外啥也不行 and she's made of nothing but salad and Smartwater.
不行 Nope, no tap outs.
后门，谢谢 Back door? Thank you.
贱人，说什么 - Bitch. - What?
太过了吗 Was that too much?
有点，我喜欢 - Just a little. - I loved it.
走吧 Let's go.
嗨，上帝 - Hey! - Oh, God.
哦，我来解决 Oh. Go. I got this. Go, go.
好的，慢慢玩吧 - Okay. Enjoy.
来吧 Come on, let's party.
范迪塞尔吓不住我 Vin Diesel ain't got shit on me!
克莱 Clay!
他刚说什么 What did he say?
我知道他们要去那里 I think I know where they're going.
上车 Let's get the car. Come on!
走吧 Let's go!
对不起 Excuse me. Excuse me.
嗨，玛丽，上车 Hey, Mary? Mary, get in the car!
该死 Damn it.
# God rest ye merry gentlemen
# Let nothing you dismay
# Remember Christ the Saviour
# Was born on Christmas Day
# To save us all from Satan's power
# When we were gone astray
# Tidings of comfort and joy
# Comfort and joy
# Oh, tidings of comfort
# Comfort and joy! #
哦，上帝，我搞砸了 - Oh, God. - Yeah, I fucked up. I did.
我让很多人失业了 I lost a lot of people's jobs.
我今晚伤害了很多好人 I hurt a lot of good people tonight.
太感人了 Oh, yeah, totally. Cool story.
我们是在去你去公寓的路上 Are we coming up to your apartment building
它在左边，右边，还是哪里 on the left, to the right, or...
我们不是去我公寓 We're not going to my apartment.
不对，我们是去你那 Uh, yes, we are.
我们把你送去公寓确保安全 We are going to your apartment to go to the safe.
我们接下去要做的事没有安全性 There's nothing safe about what we're gonna do.
就像你说的 Yeah, it's like you said, you know.
我们要逃避，接下去我们就要这么做 We need to escape them, so that's what we're gonna do.
红灯，你在说什么鬼 - Red light. What the fuck
东西，有红灯 are you talking about? There's a red light!
那是红灯 That's a red light!
哦，耶 - Oh, yeah!
我们从右边穿过去了，，We go right through 'em. They're just suggestions.
你能看着那个吗，是他吗的挡风玻璃 - Can you look at that fuck? - Oh, the fucking windshield.
你是开玩笑吗 现在不是时候 Are you kidding? Not now!
那是自动控制仪，乔希，我们现在不需要这个 That's the A.C., Josh. We don't need that right now.
那是什么 What about that?
别，那是循环模式 Oh. No, that's the recirculating mode.
没有这个天才吧我怎么才能开去公司 How am I gonna run Zenotek without this Genius Bar?
如果愿意的话你可以起来帮忙 You can get up here and help if you'd like.
好了，我的座位变热了 Okay, my seat's getting hotter.
玛丽 你为什么不买辆小型车 Mary, why do you even have a minivan?
你也没有孩子 因为便宜 - You don't have kids. - I buy in bulk!
是他们 对的 Oh! It's them! - Yeah.
对的，好眼力 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, good eyes.
什么味道 Oh, God! What's that smell?
我要对你诚实 I'm gonna be honest with you,
I have been farting this entire time.
(TYRES SCREECHING)
我的天 Oh, my gosh.
Okay, you know what,
take me to your personal safe right now.
我们要去的地方不需要钱 We don't need money where we're going.
去哪 为了荣耀 - Where are we going? - For glory.
克拉克街大桥 The Clark Street Bridge.
晚上这时间桥应该升起了 This time of night it'll be up.
我们要准备纵声一跃，绝不回头 We're gonna jump the bridge and never look back.
新游戏，停车 Okay, new game. Pull over.
停车或者我跳车 Just pull over or I'll tuck and roll.
不要，特瑞娜， - No, no, no. Trina, Trina. - Just slow down.
特瑞娜，我已经考虑过一会了 Trina, I've been thinking about this for a while.
我们能飞起来 We can make this jump.
我已经让很多人失望了 I let a lot of people down,
但是我不能让你再失望 but I'm not gonna let you guys down.
我们准备逃离家庭然后换的新生 We're gonna escape our families and become anew!
马上停车 Pull over right now.
要不我就打烂你的脑袋 Or I shoot you in the fucking brain.
你不能开枪 Well, you can't shoot him,
因为那样就车毁人亡了 because then he's gonna crash the car.
真是这样吗 萨凡纳 Really, Savannah? Really?
你怎么不放在邮件里并且抄送 Why don't you put it in an email
所有人 and c.c. everyone, all right?
确保每个人都能收到 Make double sure everyone got it.
你知道吗，你应该现在开始在播客直播了 You know what, you should start a podcast, Savannah,
名字就叫，萨凡纳蠢事大合集 called "Savannah Says Fucking Stupid Things Out Loud."
克莱 Clay!
克莱，听着，对不起 Clay! Hey, listen, I'm sorry!
我永不会接受那份工作 I was never gonna take that job.
不够好 Not good enough!
不要飞桥 Do not jump that bridge.
我必须要做，卡罗尔没错，我搞砸了 I have to do this. Carol's right, I'm a fuckup!
该死 Shit!
停车，你个白痴 Pull over, you fucking idiot!
能说的好听点吗 Or, the nice supportive version?
停车，你个白痴 Pull over, fucking idiot!
不行 No.
告诉他停车，小姐 Hey, tell him to pull over, lady!
停车，停车，不起作用 Look. Pull over! Pull over! Pull over! It doesn't work!
不起作用，什么办法都不行 - It's not working. - None of it works!
嗨，克莱 Hey, Clay,
你要飞，我和你一起 you jump that bridge, I'm going with you.
什么，不行 What? No!
行的 - Yes, I am.
你说过要达到80-90迈，范迪塞尔 Did you say hit it at 80 or 90, Vin Diesel?
切进运动模式，开始吧 - Put it into sport. - Here we go.
乔希，我很抱歉以前说你不愿冒险 Josh, I'm sorry that I said you were safe.
你不必这样做，我必须 - You don't have to do this. - Yes, I do.
乔希，你在干什么 Josh, what are you doing, man?
你跳，所有人都陪你 You go, we all go!
他妈的 Fuck.
我爱美国 I love America!
我可不愿死在棒子的车里 I am not gonna die in a minivan.
嗨，嗨，放开方向盘 Hey, hey, hey! Get off the wheel!
We could've made that bridge, panty hose.
克莱在那 Where's Clay?
It was on your person.
我们撞了什么 What did we hit?
The collision severed the primary fibre line,
as well as its backup,
paralyzing lnternet, DSL,
and cellular communications citywide.
So if you haven't ordered your holiday gifts early,
you may not be able to order them at all.
我不干了 I quit, by the way!
你不干什么，萨凡纳 You quit what? What, Savannah? What'd you quit?
这儿就两个正常的姑娘 Just a couple of normal girls here.
Move it, move it! Clear!
断网了 The Internet's down.
我兄弟需要医生 My brother needs a doctor!
你得按序排队 Ma'am, you're gonna need to wait your turn.
你能找到治好我弟弟的人吗 Will you find someone that will help my brother?
所有人，后退 All of you, just back up!
后退，全部给我站到黄线后面 Back up. Make a single file line against that wall
医生有时间就会来的 and she will be with you when she has a fucking minute!
你要去飞跃那座桥，真的是 You know, you trying to jump that bridge was really...
勇敢吗，你是这样说吗 Brave? That what you were going for?
我要说你很傻 No. Stupid. I was gonna say stupid.
我说是勇敢 No. I... I would say brave.
有点勇敢，耶 - A little brave. - Yeah. Hi.
他怎么样了 他没事了 - Hey, how is he? - Oh. He's fine.
实际上医生说多亏这次的撞车事故 In fact, the doctor said that the crash
才能把以前的骨折地方给治好 actually fixed a previous fracture.
这是因祸得福 He's got... He's got this gift.
我有点跟不上思路 I don't... I don't get it.
感谢上帝，他一点没事 - Oh. Thank God he's okay. - Oh, well...
或许你应该考虑下解雇的事情 So, maybe you'll reconsider firing everyone?
一旦董事会查出事故 Once it gets out there that we caused this crash,
是由于我们这次的撞车造成 the board finds out,
那我也得走人，大家全部都要失业 my ass is fired. No one has a job.
那么，卡罗尔 - So... - Carol?
现在能谈下车辆 Is now a good time to exchange insurance information
保险的问题吗 for the car stuff?
不行，顺便说下，我们已经做到了 It's not. You know, we would've made it, by the way.
- At the speed you were going? - Comfortably.
拜托，从那种斜坡起跳 Please. To make that jump, with that incline,
你的车最少要开到 you would have had to at least been going...
110迈，是95迈 - 110. - 95.
不，是95迈 No, 95.
这是个简单的数学题，好吧 - It's simple math. - Oh. Well, okay.
可能纸面上做起来简单些 It might be simple on paper,
但是你忘记了风力还有起亚车的自重 but you're forgetting the wind, the weight of the Kia,
还有我们四个人的重量 the four of us,
鸟笼 bird cages...
那是鸟窝 prefer to call them bird condos, and so do the birds.
重点是，你不得不依据 Point being, you have to adjust your numbers
现实世界的条件来校正数据 to account for real world conditions.
难道他们没在黑客大学交过你吗 Simple. Or did they not teach you that in hacker college?
说的对 You're right.
谢谢 Thank you.
不是那个 No, not about that.
虽然黑客大学听起来极好 Although hacker college does sound awesome.
是关于AnywAir的，我一直以来的研究方法是错误的 It's AnywAir. I've been doing it wrong.
我一直以来是把电力网 I... I've been treating the power grid
当作是一个无缝的网络来源 as if it was a seamless source of Internet.
其实不是无缝，是散乱的 It's not seamless, it's messy. It...
但如果有机会 But if there was an opportunity
条件适合的话 where the conditions were just right.
如果是在一个的真空环境里 If we were inside of a vacuum. If it was still.
哦，我的上帝 Oh, my God.
是网络瘫痪 - An Internet blackout. - An Internet blackout!
快点回办公室 Let's get you back to the office.
好的，快点 - Yes! - Come on.
我会把索赔申请短信你的 I'm gonna text you that claims form, yeah?
对不起，玛丽，去拯救公司吧 - I'm sorry, Mary. Go save the company!
恩 Mum?
爸爸 Dad?
哦 Oh, my...
哦，嗨 Oh. Hey.
嗨 Hey.
卡拉 Carla!
发生什么了，早上好 - Wassup? - Morning.
我做了所有的努力 I tased as many as I could, but...
还行，比我想象中的要好很多 Yeah. Well, I actually thought it was gonna be worse, so...
恩 Uh-uh!
看见你了，贱人 I see you, bitch! Uh-uh, bitch, I see you!
你办公司是锁住的对吗 Your office was locked, right?
当然 Yeah, of course.
什么情况，你们找到克莱了吗 - What... What's happening? - Did you guys find Clay?
对不起 老习惯了 - Sorry. Old habit. - Sure.
你在写可以实时 Okay. So, what... You're writing an algorithm
回应电力网的算法 that can respond to the grid in real time?
这要花多久，好了 - That's gonna take... - Done.
不可能吧 Forever.
纳特，服务器房情况怎么样 Nate! How's that server bank?
还淹没在啤酒罐里，给我五分钟清理 Still covered in beer! Five minutes!
I hope it's beer.
嗨 Hey.
关于昨晚发生的事情 Uh, about what happened...
没事，大家各取所需 All good. Everyone has their thing.
我知道这看上去有点奇怪，但我只是渴望纪律 I know it seems weird, but I just crave discipline.
我的家人没有吃饭时间 My family had no set meal times.
没事，我不想听你的起源 Yeah, it's cool. I don't need your origin story.
你保证不会告诉别人吧 Promise me you won't tell anyone?
我帮你报税，成交 - I'll do your taxes! - Deal.
很好 Great.
哦，上帝，办公室怎么了，嗨，伙计们，我带了甜甜圈 Oh, my God, the office. Hey, guys, I got doughnuts!
我带了有果冻和原味的 I got, uh, jelly and glazed and, uh,
还有些其它口味但是没有椰子味的 some other stuff. But no Cronuts,
那不是纯正的口味 that's a bastard pastry.
我还是讨厌你的规矩 I still hate your rules.
但是你跳舞时 But your dancing is
真的是狂野奔放 wild and free.
就像一根无人操控的消防软管 Like an unmanned fire hose.
暂时先穿上 Put your pants on.
你的裤子 For now.
现在我们还修复不了网络 Now, we can't fix the Internet
如果我们不能上网 if we can't get on the Internet.
所有的事情都没办法解决 Everything is down.
所有的电话还能使用 Okay, well, all the phones are working.
拨号上网怎么样 What about a dial-up modem?
很好，我们现在就只需要一台无线电 Great. Now all you need is a RadioShack
和时光机了 and a time machine.
G1有无线电功能对吗，克莱办公室有一个 - Oh, the G1 had it, right? - There's one in Clay's office.
我拿桌子 I got the desk. Get the desk.
给我天线，插在这，给我那个 Okay, give me the wires. Plug it in here. Give me that.
Hey, I could use some of that giddy-up in H.R.
如果你们两个小孩在尝试一段新的稳定的恋情 if you two ponies are looking for a new stable.
玛丽，我是正在寻找一个新的稳定女友 I am looking for a new stable, Mary.
非常感谢你，我们晚点在谈 Thank you so much. We'll talk later.
玛丽，你的脖子露出太多了 Mary, you're showing a lot of neck.
这破坏了你定的办公室规矩 Breaking your own rules.
这是时髦 It's a little skanky, isn't it?
插入，插入了 - Plug it in. Plugged in.
我这有些DJ的设备 Uh, I got this D.J. equipment,
if you want to use that for something.
这没用但还是谢谢你 Okay, that's not gonna help, but thank you.
好了，伙计们 All right, guys.
接下去怎么样 What now?
我按下输入启动协议，然后 ，I press "Enter," it launches the protocol, and then...
就有网络了 And then everybody gets back on the Internet.
希望 Hopefully.
或者我把电力网摧毁 Or I blow up the power grid.
大家祈祷吧 - So be ready for that. - Okay?
不用担心，按输入键 Don't worry about that. Just hit "Enter."
好了，伙计们 Okay, guys.
开始了 Here we go.
电力还有 Power's still on.
老实说我被震惊了 Yeah, I'm honestly shocked by that.
还是没网络 No Internet yet, though.
可能要花几秒钟 It could take a few seconds.
如果管用，你会收到连接提示 If it works, you'll have a connection alert.
没有 什么也没有 - No. - No, nothing.
啥也没有 - Nothing yet.
都没收到吗 没有 - No? Anybody? - No.
什么也没有 No, nothing.
乔希 Josh?
没有，多等一会 No. Just give it a little more time.
或许条件不成熟 Maybe it wasn't ready.
特雷西，嗨 Tracey, hey.
成熟了 It's ready.
还不行，再等下 Still dead. Waiting for it. Still dead.
你收到了 收到了 - Is that you? - Got it.
有信号了，上帝啊 - Got it! - Oh, my God.
有信号了，上帝啊 - Yep, I got it. - Oh, my God!
你也收到了吗，收到了 - Was that you? - I got it!
我也收到了 - Yeah, I got it, too!
我收到了 I got mine! Yeah. Yeah, there's mine. Holy shit!
特雷西，你成功了 - Tracey! - You did it!
Work never stops. You see that?
打扰下 Excuse me. Excuse me.
哈喽，我为你高兴，但我需要你 Hello, yes. I am happy for you, but I do need you to
在这之前先签署一份 sign a personal relationship disclosure form
你们之间的个人关系披露表 before this rounds first.
不，不，我不这么认为 No. No, I don't think so.
嗨，玛丽签我们的吧 Hey, Mary, sign this.
哦，你知道吗，我真的喜欢你 Oh. Oh, you know what? Um, I really like you,
但我们或许可以先从一起喝咖啡 um, but maybe we could get, Iike, a cup of coffee first,
或者其它事开始 or something?
可以的 Yeah! Totally.
我说签就是这个意思 That's what I meant by, "Sign this."
算了还是忘了吧 好的 - You know what? Forget it. - Okay.
全家福 Glass of wine in a family photo?
我穿那件衣服就像个大头钉 Look at him in that suit. What a stud.
他穿的比你好看 He wore that better than you.
对的，他做的很多事都比我棒 Yeah, he did a lot of things better than me.
你不满意我是对的 You're right to be pissed at me.
你知道，我总是去做任何我想做的事 You know, I always got to do whatever I wanted
而你却总是能善始善终 and you always ended up
但得不到好的待遇 with the shit end of the stick.
那不公平 It wasn't fair.
对不起，姐姐 I'm sorry, sis.
谢谢 Thank you for that.
你永远都是个严肃的人是吗 You never got to be the fun one, huh?
我曾经有过的 是的 - I mean, I could have. Right? - Yeah.
好吧，我有风趣的一面 - Sure. - I have... I have a fun side.
我曾经看见很多次 I've seen it many a time.
我的意思 I mean...
不加思索 Off the top of my head, I...
记得感恩节那次你给每个人 Remember that Thanksgiving that you taught everybody
用投标战争与严格的时间限制 the real rules of Monopoly?
来讲解垄断的真正规则 With the bidding wars and the strict time limit and...
是的，那次不有趣 我知道 - Yeah, that wasn't fun. - I know.
嗨，我的疼痛感是9或10,11级 Hi! My pain is at a 9 or a 10 or 11.
无论在图表中 Whatever on the chart, the...
那张脸 That face?
我能从另外的小胶杯 So can I get some Dilaudid
里拿些镇痛剂吗 in another one of those little gelatine cups?
我查了下你不能买 You can't buy those. I looked it up.
网络恢复了 Huh. The Internet's back up.
Zenotek是个什么鬼东西 What the hell is a Zenotek?
什么，什么 - What? What?
上帝啊，她成功了 Oh, my God! She did it. She did it!
关上门 - Shut the fuck door! - Oh.
我得告诉你，我一直喜欢 I gotta tell you, I was always like,
特雷西，这没有任何意义 "Tracey, this doesn't make any sense,"
and she was like, "Words, words, words
"and some numbers." But she did it.
哦，上帝 Oh, my God.
是不是大家都能保住工作了 Wait. So, this means everybody gets to keep their jobs?
都保住了 Everybody gets to keep their jobs.
太好了 Yes!
我要做CEO了 God, I am gonna be CEO.
因为你应得的 Because you deserve it.
你还举办了一次成功的派对 And you throw a great fucking party.
是的，是吗 Yeah. I did, didn't I?
哦 沃尔特，沃尔特 - Oh! Walter. - Walter.
哈喽，嗨 - Oh, hello. - Hi.
卡罗尔，很高兴见到你 - Carol. - Carol, nice to meet you.
我的雄鹰，嗨 There's my eagle. Hey.
我想谢谢你让我度过了一生中最棒的晚上 I just want to thank you for the best night of my life!
是吗 - Yeah? Yeah?
我们周一见 I'll see you on Monday.
好的，看起来我们刚雇佣了沃尔特 戴维斯 Well, it looks like we just hired Walter Davis.
他很适合 Well, he'll fit right in.
喔 Wow.
你看见了吗 - Did you see that?
哦 Oh.
你们在干吗 胜利者 - What are you doing? - Winner!
我们没有在赛车，你是没有 - We weren't racing. - Well, you weren't.
你认为他们为什么总是让你离开医院在轮椅上吗 Why do you think they always make you leave a hospital
坐在轮椅上离开医院吗 in a wheelchair?
你们这群家伙在这干吗 What are you guys doing here?
我们吃早餐时不能没有你 Well, we can't go to breakfast without you.
快点，我们在庆祝，快点 - Come on, we're celebrating. Come on, let's go.
我参加，早餐是一天里最重要的饭 I'm in. Breakfast is the most important meal
在早上，噢 - of the morning. - Whoa!
喔 Whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa.
我们和好了吗 We good?
和好了 Yeah. We're good.
我还是坐下吧，你的踝关节受伤了 - I'll go back down. - Your ankle is broken.
打扰下，怎么 - Excuse me. Excuse me. Yes.
哦，你把这个留在房间了 - Oh. - You left this in your room.
给我吧，谢谢 Oh, I did. Thank you. I'm sorry.
还有这个 And also this.
谢谢，医生 Oh, thank you, Doctor. Here.
不要 No.
要离开了吗，我们走吧 - Wanna get out of here? - Let's go.
不了，我不去了，我叫了优步 Oh, no. I'm not getting in that. I ordered us an Uber.
卡罗尔 Carol?
我们这次不是奇异之旅，还是上车吧 I don't mean this in a creepy way, but get in the van.
是啊， Yeah, we got to keep this train rolling.
不，来吧 - No. Yes.
你吃药期间不能碰酒精 No! You cannot have alcohol on your medication.
去他的，酒就是药 Uh, fuck that. Drinking is medication.
医生，这是工作早餐 Doctor, this is a... This is a work breakfast.
根本不会有酒精的 There will be no alcohol at all.
行吗 Okay?
好的 - Yeah.
我看见了 I saw that.
医生我向你保证，我是负责人 Doctor, I assure you. I am in charge.
不会再有派对了 There will be no more partying.
(MOUTHS)
我真的站在你的面前 I'm literally standing right in front of you.
我真的站在这 I'm literally right here.
我只是不知道你怎么会认为我没有看见他们的举动 I just don't know what it is you think that I'm not seeing.
医生 我决不会违背医生的建议 Doctor, I would never disobey medical advice. (MOUTHING)
走吧 Just go, just go.
办公室问题，开始吧 It's an office thing. Here we go.
圣诞快乐，走了 - Merry Christmas. - Let's go.
推去汽车吧 Let's roll it to the car.
假日快乐 Okay, Happy Holidays.
谢谢你的服务，医生 Thank you for your service, Doctor.
好了 Okay.
你需要我帮你指路开出去吗 Okay. You need any help working your way out of here?
拜托，我出生在出租车公司 Please, Josh. I was born in a U-Haul.
嗨，卡罗尔 Hey, Carol!
你是卡罗尔吗，什么，不是 - Are you Carol? - What? Uh, no.
你确定吗，你看起来像卡罗尔 Are you sure? You look like a Carol.
你没有听见我说的吗 卡罗尔 Can you not hear me? Carol!
卡罗尔 Carol!
恩 Ugh.
取消了 Cancelled?
贱人 - Bunch of bitches!
红灯就是员工意见箱 You know red lights are just suggestions.
你正在抽大麻烟卷吗 Are you smoking a marijuana cigarette right now?
是的，我们闯过去了，下个路口再来 Yeah! See, we made it through. Let's do another.
别再来了 Oh, not again.
让我再来次吧 Let me do it again.
让我再来次，我能行的 Let me just do it again. I can do it.
哦，该死的 Oh, damn it.
混蛋 Shit, shit!